22 August 2011

A Letter of Grievance

Dear dollhouse builders, designers, decorators, and owners:
                Please, please, consider the dolls that you are making houses for! Many dollhouses today are constructed with countless architectural peculiarities that would never be acceptable if they were part of a house for humans. For example, the house I live in has a beautiful balcony off the second floor, which is only accessible by climbing through the bathroom window! What need is there to have a balcony off of the bathroom, anyways? In addition, nearly all of the doorways lack actual doors. I’m not too sure how it works in the human world, but I would really appreciate some doors on the master bedroom and the bathroom, at least. Of course, doors really wouldn’t be much of a help towards privacy, because each room is missing an entire wall, due to the open back of the house. I understand that this is considered a standard feature of dollhouses, and the open wall makes it easier for owners to access their houses, but does no one consider the feelings of dolls? Perhaps we’d like just a little privacy too, a little family time of our own. After all, I don’t think humans would like to leave one entire side of their house open for the world to see in. Could we at least have that side of the house screened in? The occasional giant spiders and flies who wander in are really quite frightening.
My last concern is with the abundance of dollhouses decorated after the manner of the Victorians. From talking to my neighbors, it seems that many of our dollhouse owners prefer their dollhouses to have an authentic Victorian feel rather than modern décor. It is my argument that it is unfair that some of us dolls are forced to live without the modern conveniences of refrigerators, dishwashers, and electric stoves, simply because of the design preferences of our owners. If you love the Victorian era so much, why don’t you try cooking food from your icebox over the heat from your wood-burning stove while wearing a full-length silk dress? That reminds me, this past summer has been an especially hot one—a window air conditioner would have been really nice! We survived the heat, of course, but it wasn’t always pleasant. I suggest a compromise—perhaps the house could still be decorated in a Victorian manner, but with tastefully designed modern appliances hidden among the ornately carved furniture.
Thank you for listening to my grumblings. I hope you do not feel that I have been too forward or complaining. I do love the house I live in, with all of its quirks, and I’m thankful for my owners who have generously provided all of the furnishings my family needs. I am simply asking that all of those who control the way our houses are designed and decorated will think a little more about the comfort of the dolls who have to live in the homes. Thank you.
A Concerned Doll