26 January 2012

Haunting Questions

Do you ever wonder why it is that the dragons in fairy tales always want to eat beautiful young maidens? Since we have countless stories of dragon requests to dine on princesses and other fair ladies of the land, we have to assume that beautiful women account for a significant part of their diet. But why is this? One would think that having young maiden for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and midnight snack would soon get a little monotonous. If I were a dragon I would certainly like to mix things up, like have perhaps some crispy bacon for breakfast, tender filet mignon for lunch, and perhaps even a brave knight with a side of baked potatoes and steamed broccoli for a hearty supper. But no, all the dragons one ever hears of only ask for young maidens to eat. Someone needs to educate their palate, and teach them to diversify their tastes. Dragons need to be taught that a most basic rule of nutrition is that you cannot get all necessary nutrients when you are only eating the same kind of food all the time
In addition, I have always wondered, how do such dragons make their requests known? According to most historical records, dragons are not usual well-versed in English or other common European languages, and most dragons have notoriously poor penmanship, so it is not likely that they are writing letters detailing their preferred menu. Do the kingdoms in fairy tales employ translators who are fluent in dragon-speak?
Also, why do the kings in these stories always bargain with the dragons? I have always heard that bargaining with terrorists is not a good political strategy, but that it usually causes more harm than good. Is bargaining with terrorists okay if the terrorists you are dealing with are hungry dragons? I do not know, and maybe I never will. All I know is that all this dragon stuff has me extremely confused.
By the way, why is the rum always gone?