Better than a Romance Novel

I’ve heard, and read, many warnings on the dangers of reading romance novels, both for women who aren’t yet married as well as for married women. The general consensus seems to be that the romance portrayed in such novels is so wonderful as to be unrealistic, and sets expectations too high for women who are still waiting for their man, and inspires married ladies to become dissatisfied with their husband after seeing that he doesn’t compare to the men in the books they read. 

What I hear is that real guys don’t act the way that the heroes of romance novels do, and that it’s unhealthy for women to get too invested in such an unrealistic picture of mankind.

I have a totally different view. I’ve read some 'inspirational' romance novels in my time, mostly when I was in the mood for light (very light) reading between college semesters or just because I was bored. I’m not a big fan, for the most part. I’m sure there are some well-written ones out there, however, in my opinion, the recent crop of inspirational, Christian romance novels are largely of little literary quality.

So, yes, the awkward dialogues, unlikely situations, and unnecessarily repeated words make me want to grab my red pen to mark up the copy and send it back to the author (maybe I’m just evil, but I think editing would be the coolest job in the world). But the less-than-stellar writing isn’t the only reason I don’t like them.

To me, the cheap, paperback romance novels aren’t nearly as good as real life.

 I don't believe that romance novels are dangerous to our relational health because they portray unrealistically wonderful relationships. To me, the relationship stories in most of these books simply aren’t as interesting as the stories I hear in real life. For argument’s sake, this is the synopsis of a typical Christian romance novel: The hero is tall, with wavy hair, piercing blue eyes, and muscles. The heroine is an independent woman, either living in the old west, or, if the novel is set in modern day, saving up money to quit her job and become an entrepreneur, opening the business she’s always dreamed of. At first, the hero and heroine are at odds with each other over something, but they are secretly and undeniably attracted to one another. They manage to see beyond their differences of opinion and come to love one another. In the end, all important characters get saved and the couple gets either engaged or both engaged and married.

Now, I probably missed a few bits, but doesn’t that sound like the pretty standard storyline, to you? 

My problem with inspirational romance is that sometimes your hero is short, Mexican, and has a smile so big that it scares small children.

Sometimes you wake up on your 20^th birthday, decide that it’s about time you got married, and promptly find yourself a bride before the year is out (my Grandpa’s story).

 48 years later!

Sometimes this guy you met at college comes over to your house uninvited and makes Christmas cookies with your family until you get home from a date with your boyfriend, and you end up marrying him instead of the boyfriend (Mom and Dad’s story).

 The reason they look somewhat young but not super young is because this was after they already had approximately 4 kids. Give or take one.

I don't know about you, but I've heard some incredibly awesome love stories in my time, from friends and family. I'm talking about stories involving shipwrecks in the Caribbean, jail, car accidents, lifelong love, and broken hearts. In real life, the people you pray for don't always get saved, and they don't always get healed. Husbands might not perform grand romantic gestures every day of the week, or even once or twice a year. And wives sometimes don't get around to doing their hair, or cleaning the bathroom, and even more often, they don't start and maintain highly successful and profitable small businesses. Life isn't fair. Life is messy, sometimes tragic, and sometimes full of inexplicable joy. Real life or real romance might not be as 'picture-perfect' as the romance in the latest Love Inspired novel, but its quite a bit more interesting, and I'll take my flawed marriage and my too-short hero over anything a romance novel has to offer.