Do I Regret Getting Married?

I met a new girl at my cosmetology school yesterday. As part of our get-to-know-you introductions, she asked what high school I went to. I said, "Actually, I've been out of school for a few years now--I'm married and I'm 21, so a little older than some of the other students here."

Which is true because most of my classmates are new graduates from high school.

The first words out of her mouth were, "Do you regret getting married so young?"

Now, I found this a very strange thing to say to someone that you just met. Personally, I can't imagine many situations where I would want to ask someone if they regretted their current marriage. I laughed it off and said, no, that I loved being married, that I'd do it all over again if I could.

She persisted, "Do you feel like you've missed out on life since you got married young?"

No--I think I gained a lot of life experiences and have had far more adventures with Angel than I would have been brave enough to attempt on my own. Getting married meant that I had to grow up quickly, of course, but there's nothing wrong with that! Immaturity is rarely a desirable trait.

As she asked, and I answered, I thought to myself--how sad it is that a young woman like this girl looks at the idea of marriage and clearly finds it to be something like a prison, something to be regretted. But, in all likelihood, what else has she seen of marriage? Nearly all of my classmates' parents are divorced, and few of my classmates are on speaking terms with both parents at the same time.

However, I know and I believe that God didn't create marriage to be a relationship characterized by brokenness, by regret, and by the feeling of being trapped and missing out on life. What can I do, with my tiny bit of marriage and life experience, to be a witness to my younger classmates and show them that marriage can really be something awesome? That's what I'm wondering right now.

In basic fact, within the last two days, Angel took me out dancing, took me to lunch, and bought me a bag of Skittles at the dollar store. I'm spoiled rotten! What I feel like saying is that, through marriage, I got a best friend to live with, a permanent date, a sugar daddy, a dance partner, an accountant (he does the taxes), and a personal-sized, energy-efficient heater for all the cold winter days--and who could argue with a deal like that? Even on the days when Angel and I are frustrating each other--what I have there is the opportunity to rely on God and learn how very weak and sinful I am, and realize just how much I need the work of the Holy Spirit in me! (Those days are good ones for praying, I can tell ya!)

It breaks my heart to hear 18 and 19 year old girls saying, "I'm never getting married, I couldn't stand to live like that" as if marriage itself is an undesirable lifestyle. In some cases, divorce may be necessary, but unfortunately, the divorces and the broken marriages of our parents' generation have created a generation of young people who aren't at all convinced that marriage can be a good thing. Some who I've met even seem afraid of marriage. And all we younger, married people can do is try our best to show them that marriage can be good.