17 October 2012

Marriage Advice

 Okay, we're currently at 22 and a half months of marriage, so "marriage advice" sounds funny, but bear with me! 

If you could give one piece of advice to any married (or soon-to-be married) couple, what would it be?
My Mom told me before I got married, "Mostly, husbands just want a clean house, a pretty wife, and good food." Now, that's just a basic generalization, and it doesn't really get into the theory of the marriage relationship and oneness or anything like that...but honestly, I think it's really good advice, because it works like a charm, as far as keeping Angel happy!

I asked Angel, and he said that his advice for marriage is in three parts:
1. Don't be lazy
2. Don't be selfish.
3. Pray.

What is an absolute MUST for any marriage/relationship?

Being able to put the other person first, and choosing not to seek your own benefits and your own desires all of the time.

What is the #1 no-no in a marriage?

To me, it's saying or doing anything with the express intent of hurting or annoying your spouse. Being married and living together allows you to get to know someone very well, to the point where they are more vulnerable to you than they are to most people. As part of the marriage trust relationship, I believe it's completely out of line to use your intimate knowledge of your spouse to hurt them. Obviously, you quickly learn all of the buttons that are easy to push, and you know the topics they are sensitive about, and the comments that can crush them--but no matter how mad you are, you should never purposely use what you know about them against them.

 Our First Christmas together, 2010

What is the biggest lesson you have learned from your marriage?

 So, funny story...actually not a very funny story...before I got married, I thought it was okay to  not forgive people whenever they didn't apologize for whatever they did wrong. I honestly, wholeheartedly believed that the Bible said that you only had to forgive people who were sorry. I know now, that that's utterly crazy. The Bible says no such thing. Forgiveness, choosing to not hold people's sin against them even though that's what they deserve, is a huge part of God's character. It was only after months of marriage, and tears, and frustrations, and a long conversation with my mom where she told me how crazy I was, that I learned I needed to be able to forgive people. I needed to forgive Angel, but not only him, every other person who'd ever hurt me, too. I've felt so freed ever since that day, I only wish I hadn't stubbornly held on to my 'right' to not forgive for so long!

Linking up with Kay and Allie for Wedded Bliss Wednesdays! 


Have you entered my 300 Follower Giveaway yet? Because if you haven't, you should! 


  1. I love what you said about being vulnerable once you are married/living with you spouse. So true! Thanks for sharing and linking up with us again!

  2. I saw this on pinterest, but it something that really rings true in my own marriage.

  3. Marriage is beautiful is you're willing to put the time and energy into doing it right! Thanks for linking up!

  4. Great post, and I completely agree with both of you guys. Definitely some great advice. I think my husband would say the same as Angel: Don't be lazy, don't be selfish, and pray. :)

  5. Yes, I like your husband's list, too!

  6. This is so good. Being engaged I need all the advice I can get!

  7. I agree with all of this! That was my mom's advice too. It's simplified but I agree with it completely.

  8. that's a great post! And I have definately met many people who believe the Bible teaches that about forgiveness, that would be easy, wouldn't it! Marriage takes a lot of forgiving, it's a good lesson to learn right off the bat :)

  9. Awesome post! I've been married from as of next month will be three years and it is hard to get the selfish out especially when you marry at 28 and are used to living alone. Marriage is fun though and you learn to work out your differences and even laugh at them down the road!

  10. Wow, I really love this post! Great marriage advice!

  11. WOw another great post i would love to know where this originated from and read more blogs.

  12. I like this post, and I'm not even married yet! :P
    Also, congratulations on 300 followers. I just hit 100 and am far more excited than I should be. :P
    Dropping by from the GFC blog hop. :)

  13. This is great!! You're spot on about not using your knowledge about your spouse to push their buttons and annoy them. Sometimes in the heat of an argument, it can be an easy route to go, but it's wrong and accomplishes nothing.

  14. Truth said here! Forgiveness is truly up to us, not our spouses or any one else. Thanks for sharing. Visiting from Matrimonial Monday, have a super blessed day!

  15. Thanks for sharing such awesome truth! I totally get the not being married long enough to share advice part! =) I think I've only been married a few months longer than you and I totally find it hard to consider that I have anything of any value to say on marriage =)
    Much Love & thanks for sharing friend!

  16. This is such a sweet post Rachael. Congrates to the both of you as you continue on your marriage journey. After 16 years of marriage myself there have been many lessons learned over the years. Many of these were learned as we went through some of the darkest times in our married life. The one thing that has helped us know we are there for each other is that we took the "D" word off the table after year 4. Huge because both of us know we are all in.

    Another thing I love doing with Tony is to remember what I'm Thankful For..., This is something we do each year together to remind ourselves of those little and big things that have touched our lives.

  17. Great advice :) You have so many great articles that I still have not read!! And here I thought I'd read them all :P

    I am currently searching through your site looking for your blog post where you say you only own one purse, to link in a blog post I am posting next week about my purse. Google was not helpful. Sigh. I can't find it :P maybe you can add a search bar on your site? ^___^