21 December 2012

Grandpa's Marriage Advice

 Minutes before my grandpa walked me down the aisle at my wedding, he stood with me outside the sanctuary and said, "It's not too late, if you don't want to go through with it, we can leave right now."

He didn't have anything against Angel--it appears that a last minute reminder that you're not locked down for life until you've actually signed the papers is a tradition in my family. But besides that moment...and the day when he first met Angel and promptly took him on a very suspicious "walk" around the neighborhood, my Grandpa, and every one of my relatives, has supported my marriage and loved my husband, and for that, I'm very grateful.

Today I came across a copy of the speech my Grandpa gave at our wedding reception. Upon reading it, I realized that there's definitely some things I could be paying more attention to! I thought I'd share his speech with you. So here's what a man with nearly 50 years of marriage experience has to say on the subject:

Some things a marriage can withstand: Sickness, debilitating injuries, financial disasters, loss of possessions through fire, flood, tornado, tragedies, death of a loved one, the loss of a child.

Some things a marriage cannot withstand:
Leaving the toilet seat up, using your husband's razor, squeezing the toothpaste tube in the middle or leaving the cap off. Hanging the toilet paper the wrong way. Arguing about whose turn it is to do something. Not taking the garbage out when the opportunity presents itself.

1. Treat your marriage partner with respect. Never cut each other down.
2. Make your spouse your best friend and confidant.
3. Avoid negative humor toward family members.
4.Be totally honest in LOVE.
5. Have a generous spirit towards others (in terms of time and money especially).
6. Your home is your castle, keep it financially secure.
7. Never reprove your marriage partner in front of others.
8. Always speak well of your family members to others.
9. At least twice a month spend some time alone together outside the bedroom.
10.When your marriage partner upsets you and they  ask what is wrong, do not say "nothing"--be honest.
11.Remember you are marrying a sinner, a person who is in a desperate need of experiencing salvation every day of their life.
 12. Forgive each other just as you have been forgiven.
13. Do not let the sun go down on your anger.
14. Speak only once to a child before taking corrective action, but make sure they really heard you the first time.
15. Don't argue about the children in front of them.
16. If you throw it down, pick it up, if you open it, close it, if you turn it on, turn it off.
17. Never take revenge, never deliberately hurt or ridicule.
18. It takes two to argue, and a soft word does turn away wrath.
19. Love is mental and physical attraction in the presence of emotional security.
20. Jesus is your life--make Him the center of your marriage.

And I'm just wondering if his last-minute offer to allow me to be a runaway bride is a common one? Did any of you get an offer like that from someone in your family on your wedding day?
Unknown said...

I love this! I wish my grandfather was here to give a speech like this when I get married. My dad would probably say the same things. Your grandfather seems like a great man.

Moonofsilver said...

Oh, yes. My mom was like--we can leave now, if you arn't ready! This was moments before the music started and I was shaking in my heals---I don't remember if I said anything...being married is so amazing. I'm so happy!!!! But its nice to know others love you---not the marriage, and that they will support you through anything. My mom also loves and cares for Brain so much! Were you scared on your wedding day? I was terrified! I knew I was making the right decision but I was frozen because.I was getting married!!!!!!!!!!! it was a shocking experience.

Angi said...

That is the sweetest thing ever. I truly wish I'd had someone at my wedding that could give a speech like that!! And no - nobody told me it wasn't too late to run away. ;)

Jeannie Leigh said...

My husband's parents offered him the "get out of jail free card" on the drive to the wedding. My Uncle, while I was getting ready, came up to me and said, "I want you to be happy, and if he isn't going to make you happy for forever, we can run right here and now. Your aunt is on standby, we even have a few things packed. If you need an out, you've got one." I loved knowing that they were supportive of me no matter what, and cared enough to let me escape if I needed. My mom as she gave me a hug right before everything started said, "If you aren't sure now, we can leave. If you are, we will support you forever." I have an awesome family. (and an awesome husband!)

Michelle said...

I love this! Such good advice!

What if your husband uses YOUR razor? Can a marriage withstand that? Because it's been happening...

LeiShell said...

What a wise man! All very sound words! I had the support of my family, no one tried to talk me away from getting married...but perhaps because you were so young, maybe he wanted you to be sure?

Anonymous said...

Haha my parents didn't say anything. But if they did, it would be the opposite, "You better get married because we flew all the way out here for a wedding." That's some great advice from your grandpa, even for couples who have been married for awhile.

Alli @ Allena Mistral said...

Such great advice! Sounds like you've got one smart grandpa! :)

Mrs. M ~ a.k.a. ~ April said...

I love this advice..I'm going to totally print that up. Thank you for sharing!

Living for his glory said...

Amazing advice! thank you so much for linking up!

Martha Hokenson said...

What excellent advice! Your grandpa sounds like a wise man.

Unknown said...

I really like this .Thanks for sharing.

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Charlene Maugeri said...

Aww what great advice! He is a very wise man!

Brita Long said...

I can't believe I've never read this before! What funny (and sage) advice.