23 January 2013

Worst Beauty Blogger Ever

 So, ya'll, I'm going to start a series. Said series will be the "Worst Beauty Blogger Ever" series. I hope you are amused by it. My intention is not to mock real beauty bloggers but rather to have fun with the contrast between me and my bizarre profession in the beauty industry.  I thought I'd start the series off with a bang by talking about products. Because we all know it takes products to make us look good. Or at least that's what the commercials tell me. I really don't think I believe them.

So there's a picture of me. And here are the products I need to achieve my signature look:

I find it helpful to include washing my hair as part of my daily routine. And yes, I am aware that my shampoo and conditioner don't match. You see, my mother-in-law bought me the shampoo last March and the conditioner was something I had in my cabinet...actually, I'm quite convinced that those warnings: "For best results, use with matching conditioner" are really just because the company wants you to buy more of their product. I'm pretty sure that the magic formula for perfect hair comes from mismatched shampoo and conditioner.

After my hair air dries, I usually straighten my bangs with this, which is clearly the world's best straightener since I bought it 5 years ago for $20 and it still gets hot!

And I occasionally scrunch some product or another into my  hair too. I'm not entirely sure why I do it, but they usually claim to increase volume or enhance curl, and those sound like good things, do they not?

I usually do put on makeup when I know I'm going to get my pictures taken. I'm very scientific about it. Besides the products pictured, blue or purple liquid eyeliner usually makes its way into my routine. I have a very good reason for not using eyeliner pencils--I don't want my eyes to get poked out. If you don't want your eyes to get poked out either, I highly recommend liquid eyeliner.

So there you have it! My absolute most favorite products in the whole world (*due to change as soon as each bottle empties because then I'll just buy the next pretty thing I see on sale).

*For the record, I'm pretty sure the reason I look quite good in some pictures has a lot more to do with my little brother's fancy camera and the fact that Picasa exists than with my Herbal Essences conditioner.


What do you think? Yay or Nay to a series featuring your favorite Rachel as the worst beauty blogger you've ever met?
Moonofsilver said...

I also don't use any product on my hair...well, I use even less then you! I hardly ever wear makeup. It takes so long to put on and I never know what I am doing and I feel like I look silly. I think salons tell you that this-and-that will help your hair or this-and-that you must buy to achieve "beauty" or "that look". I think that natural is the way to go and use only organic products on my hair. I try to eat organically also, because I believe your skin, and nails are what you put into your body--not what you smear onto it.

I laugh at my stylist when they try to offer some chemical to put on my hair. They always tell me my hair looks amazing and thick and seem baffled that I don't really do much to it. Maybe I just have good genes.

Heather @ From Here to There said...

I thought this was funny, I wouldn't mind a series on it! :)

Marci Smith said...

Loved this! I cracked up when you said they were your favorite products until you ran out. I can so relate. I think I looooooooooooove something and then it runs out and I find a new container that looks prettier. :)


cute series idea! and yay for that flat iron, that is amazing, lol!

Kristin said...

I use the same eye shadow, just in more neutral tones. I apparently missed the lesson on how to apply colored shadow properly.

Mrs. Bennett Has Class said...

This is so funny!I love that you don't take your "bizarre" profession too seriously. :) I have wasted some serious money on name brand products that don't work any better than Suave. I'll stick to my generic Costco brands. :)

Azara said...

This is hilarious. More, more!

Alexandra Anne said...

Love your commentary! I laughed when you said companies are just trying to get us to buy more of THEIR products; it's so true!
And by the way, you are just so very pretty :) Can't wait to read more of this hilarious series!
xoxo, Alexandra Anne <3

Angi said...

I am excited for this series!! I like that you mix "fancy" products and "real life" offense to beauty bloggers, but I just can't believe that they spend that many hundreds of dollars on makeup and hair products every month. Why!?

Jessi said...

Pretty photo :) I love that you really don't have a set routine or products haha so awesome

cate @ wild ruffle said...

Well, you look gorgeous, so something is working for you! I do find, however, that the older I get, the more I start to care about the products I'm using. Not so much for my hair, but for my skin. I'm a mom of three in her 30s, so though in the past it didn't matter which items I used, it seems to matter more now.:)

Being Reese 2 said...

Heh heh! Love this. You should definitely incorporate this into a series.

I totally agree with that whole "for best results using matching products" crap. Liars. I've been using mismatched shampoos and conditioners for years and my hair hasn't fallen out yet.

Suzanne said...

Ha ha. I am like you. If I'm not taking photos I don't put on any makeup. I have started getting eyelash extensions since I have blond eyelashes naturally and this is a way I can avoid putting on any makeup.


Suzanne said...

Since you asked : ) the eyelashes last about 4-6 weeks. I usually go in every 6 weeks. It takes a while the first time, about 2 hours and then the next times it's less...maybe 45 minutes. I really like them, but you need to find someone that really knows what they are doing. My sister had someone do them and it was a big mess and they came off within a couple of weeks. They should be applied one at a time and not touch your skin at all.

My Traveling Troop said...

I had to chuckle when I read this post. There have been times when I've purchased mismatched shampoo and conditioner. I cringed during each of those purchases, but you know what? It didn't make a big difference. My hair looked the same! :)

Anyways, definitely keep writing this series. I love it!