20 March 2013

WBBE: When Your Clients Make you Cry

I'm not talking about the clients who scold you or yell at you, whether you've made a mistake or whether they think you might make a mistake. We get some mean people in the salon, clients who have made other students cry, but thankfully, I haven't been matched up with one of them yet. Hint: If what you tell us is, "My own stylist at {insert name of VERY pricey salon} can't even get my hair right half the time," we'll wonder why in the world you would choose to go to a beauty school to get your hair cut for $5.

 My least talkative client
I'm talking about the client I had who told me that her husband died two years ago. They'd been married for decades, and she said that she still didn't really enjoy living alone. "We did everything together," she said, "We went grocery shopping together and did all of our errands together. We were best friends, so all of the fun things we did, we did together."

"Sometimes I wonder if we hadn't done everything together....if we'd had more separate activities and if I'd been more used to doing errands by myself, if that would have made it easier, now that he's gone." she continued.

She told me that until just recently, she'd carried his wallet instead of her own in her purse everywhere she went, but finally she'd mustered up the strength to throw it away and buy a brand new one.

I held it together till she left the salon, but as I was washing my combs and wiping down my scissors with alcohol, a few tears started streaming down my face. To me, it was heartbreaking to hear this widow wondering aloud if she'd made this season of life harder on herself by spending so much of her married life by her husband's side.

The thought of losing your husband isn't really something that you think about when you're 21 years old and you're still in the newlywed stage. Unless, of course, you happen to work in a beauty salon serving a large number of widows.

Given the typical lifespans of men and women, and given the fact that Angel is scandalously older than I am, it's possible that someday I won't have a husband. Possible. But I'm not anxious about when that day might come, whether it be sooner, or whether it be later. I refuse to let the thoughts of the woman who thinks maybe she should have lived a life more separate from her husband, if only to make the loss of him easier on herself, affect the way I  live with my husband. I'm going to keep making grocery shopping, and buying stamps, and paying our cell phone bill into dates. I'm going to keep counting down the hours until when he gets home from work. I'm going to plan vacations that include him and I'm going to come up with projects for us to accomplish together. I believe that spending as much time as I can with the husband I love now is worth any amount of grief if a day ever comes that I can't be with him anymore.

To me, loving people, and loving people intensely, is worth every bit of the agony that comes from loving a creature whose life in this world is but a short one. And man, that whole "no more death" thing? I'm looking forward to that.

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Veronica Lee Burns said...

oh my gracious! I'm about to cry!
I wouldn't trade it though, as hard as post-husband life might be...I would never give up time with my hubby!

Moonofsilver said...

I don't want to think about anything happening to my husband! I love him so much.

I'll never stop spending time with him. That's a super sad story!! Poor women!!!! ahhhh I think I might cry now too >_< I really dislike seeing old people out a lone at a store. Usually I ask if I can help them or put their cart away. Something about it breaks my heart.

Cramer Coffee and Jesus said...

I'm with ya sister! In fact, I'm sure had she NOT done those things, she would've been sitting in your chair saying "what if I would've spent more time...what if we would've gone on more dates, etc..."
I love my hubby and I love ALL my time with him.
P.S. - I'm praying the rapture happens before either of us die :) bahaha

Maggie B. said...

Oh this is so hard! That poor woman. My husband is much older then myself, so it's a very real possibility that I will outlive him. This makes me sad, so I choose not to think about it very often. That's not to say I'm not prepaid for the occurrence, but I don't want to dwell on it. But, he also works Saturdays so sometimes I do have to do the errands by myself. =) I think it's good to have independent time and couple time.

Kristin said...

This makes me so sad. Because there's absolutely nothing you could've said to comfort her or change the reality of the situation.

I've had to think about this possibility a lot in the last few years, unfortunately.

Angi said...

What a sad story! I would have cried, too. I have no idea if I'll outlive Isaiah or not - he's 2 1/2 years younger than I am, so it's possible he'll outlive me. We both just try to be as healthy as we possibly can so we can both live long lives. But I'm with Sippy Cups and Pearls - if the woman hadn't spent as much time with her husband, I think she would be regretting it. I'd rather live a full happy life spending every minute possible with my husband, than worry about how it's going to be when one of us is gone!

Unknown said...

I totally would have cried too! My dad lost my mother at 55 after 35 years of marriage. They definitely didn't do everything together, but I don't think that made it any easier for him. It's hard to lose the person you love the most no matter what. I hate thinking about what life would be like without my hubby by my side.

Anonymous said...

I would have cried too! My husband does his errands on his own, but he almost always goes with me for all of mine. I see myself carrying his wallet in my purse too. I already told him I want his wedding ring when he deploys so I have something of his to hold onto while he's gone. As much as it sucks to do everything on my own while he's gone, I wouldn't have it any other way when he's here.

Lena Elise said...

I think you regret not spending as much time with as you could more so than spending too much time with him... This is such a sad story though! :(

This Lovely Little Day

Julia P F said...

It's better to have loved and lost... My husband is twelve and a half years older than me; we are in the same boat!

Michelle said...

I completely agree with you on this. And I try not to think about it either, especially since James is older than me and already has health issues. We just spend as much time together as we can, and I know that's something I'll never regret.

Anna said...

well said. Now that I'm married, I almost always cry in movies where someone loses a spouse because I can imagine what it would be like and how awful it would be. I'm sure I'll be a mess when I'm a mom someday, watching movies where a kid is sick or dying. But I think it's sweet that that woman has so many everyday memories of her and her husband. Nothing makes it easier when you lose a best friend like that.