17 April 2013


 Angel's #1 favorite profile picture of himself.

Lately I've been hearing about a lot of people I know who are deactivating Facebook. This doesn't surprise me terribly. I remember some months ago Angel and I decided that, most likely, in another couple of years, Facebook will be totally obsolete and everybody will be onto some new form of online friendship.

Those who I've heard of deactivating Facebook have good reasons for it. Facebook, to them, is boring. Or else it takes too much time. Perhaps, they don't actually like their Facebook friends, or, one that I've heard often is that they really don't like seeing pictures from their friends' lives and reading about what they've been up to lately. Or else, they don't enjoy allowing their Facebook friends to read too much about their own lives--they prefer to keep things private.

For now, I'm on the other side of the Facebook dilemma. Facebook is the first "social network" I was ever on (I'm too young for Myspace or anything that came before), and I really love the fact that because of Facebook, I can see what my friends and family all over America and on the other side of the world are doing.

We're so modest.

I've had a very international lifestyle. I haven't seen my Dad or four of my sisters in nearly three years. My parents don't put pictures on FB all that often--but I sure get to see a lot more of how much my siblings are growing up without me than I would if my parents had to go to all the work of attaching individual pictures to emails, that I know for sure! Some of my friends on that side of the world have gotten married or had babies since I've been gone, and it means so much to me to be able to get glimpses into these big moments of their lives even when I can't physically go home and be there for them. There's a couple baby girls I can't wait to finally meet when I go home, but in the meantime, I've been able to see them grow from infants to toddlers on Facebook (Shiloh and Anna, I'm talking about you!)

I never was a big "status update" person, and I've probably become even less of one than I used to be, ever since I started blogging. I still put pictures on Facebook that I consider more appropriate for my friends and family to see than the entire world, and I also tell certain stories on there that no one here knows about (ooooh...secrets....). When Angel and I were courting, we never lived in the same area, so Facebook has a lot of records of our early interactions. Mostly, it has a lot of records of him writing really bizarre "Christian pick up lines" on my wall, such as, "You are so unblemished I would sacrifice you."

 And I still married him.

Well, at least Facebook allowed me to know how strange my husband really was before I was hooked to him for life. Through Facebook, I've gotten to know a lot more about the brother-in-law and sister-in-law that I've never spent time with in real life, and that helps me to get excited about their upcoming trip to stay with us (otherwise it's hard to get excited for the visits of guests who you don't know personally) And I know they tend to read my blog, too, so....

Hi Nestor and Brittany! You're being watched!

There are most definitely things I don't like about Facebook. I avoid their "location" feature with great diligence, and I rarely "like" any pages unless I consider the "liking" absolutely necessary. After all, I did "like" The Random Writings of Rachel. I refuse completely to accept any friend requests from young teenagers, even when the young teenagers are related to me. I don't think that the average 13,14, or 15 year old knows how to use Facebook well, and I refuse to get involved in the phenomenon of them creating a not-very-promising and extremely-hard-to-delete online reputation for themselves at such a young age.

I think for me, the key is that I'm actually interested in the lives of the people I friend on Facebook, and I feel no obligation whatsoever to respond to friend requests from people I'm not interested in. I just checked--I currently have 20 un-responded-to friend requests. A large number of them from young teenagers I know and love. And one from a dog belonging to my in-laws. I do not support animals on Facebook either.

I love my Facebook friends in real life, and for that reason, I enjoy reading statuses about the latest funny thing that my little cousins said, or pictures of a recent vacation that my friends went on. A lot of people say, "Just make a phone call!" if you want to keep in touch...but that doesn't work well for me. For one thing, international phone calls are very expensive, and my cell phone won't make them, even with a calling card. I don't know why. But the main thing is....I'm extremely awkward on the telephone. Meet me in real life, and I'm a normal human being. On a keyboard, I'm eloquent. But try to get me to talk to you on the phone....I'd almost rather go to the dentist. The only people I'm truly comfortable talking to on the phone are Angel, my Mom, or my sister. I'm that bad at phones, and maybe that's part of the reason I enjoy Facebook so much.

What's your main reason for either having or not having Facebook?

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Moonofsilver said...


I'm dying right now "You are so unblemished I would sacrifice you."

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA O_O my ears are bleeding.

I get what you are saying through, facebook is useful in some degree :P just not for me.

Katie Cook said...

I went off FB for a year and it was glorious. I had gone off because I had done so much traveling for work and had met so many ppl that had added me on FB that I really didn't know, and it was getting stressful. So I started up a new account again just recently, and it has been fun to reconnect.

Rachel Sayumi Porter said...

wait how old are you?!!? you missed the myspace generation?! i always thought we were close in age... i definitely had a myspace hahahah!!

my husband and i dont have a facebook. which is probably good, because i get distracted and stalker-ish when i get bored, which puts off important things like making dinner and homework. haha. it's just a temptation for me. my blog already takes up a lot of time, so i don't want to add facebook to that! :)

Genna said...

Facebook is such a blessing and a curse! I love staying connected with people, especially since a lot of my high school friends have gone far away. I too avoid the location feature like the plague. So creepy.

Angi said...

I used to love Facebook, until it turned into a space where people I used to be friends with (i.e. college friends) would send me a friend request, I would accept, thinking they wanted to get back in touch, and then...they literally would NEVER speak to me. I felt like I was just being spied on without any of them actually caring about how I was doing. So I deleted all those people a couple months ago, and pared it down to JUST family and 4-5 friends I actually talked to on a regular basis. Then it became obvious that even my family wasn't really using it to communicate, so I didn't see the point in keeping it at all (not to mention certain family members that claimed to be "too busy" to e-mail or call me, but would spend plenty of time updating their Facebook pages).

So I deactivated it. And I couldn't be happier.

However, I think you have some VERY valid reasons to keep yours - I probably would in your situation, too! I just feel like *I'm* the one who moved to another country (because Alaska basically is) and nobody cared to keep in touch with ME, even though they haven't seen ME in several years. So, whatever. Good riddance, haha.

Marli said...

i've never had a facebook mainly because i definitely wouldn't have any time in my day left. sad to say, but social media plays a huge part in my life and i'm trying to make it not have such an effect on me. i think facebook is just a waste of time stalking people. :)


Alison said...

I do agree with you on all of this. Facebook IS a great place to keep in touch with people all over. I enjoy being able to see pictures of my friends and family because, well, they wouldn't show me if I didn't have Facebook! It can, and does, get annoying at times, though. Especially with random people trying to add you, game requests (ugh), and some of the political arguments that can occur from one tiny picture.

Megan said...

I LOVE this post! I feel the same way on many of your points. I don't live near my family and friends and I like being able to keep in touch with them easily. However, some stuff that is put on there is ridiculous. When I get my next break, I'm going to clean out my "friends." I want to get it down to people I actually am friends with. I need to be tougher like you and refuse some people. It's nothing personal, I just known when we have kids one day, I don't want everyone I've ever met to be able to see the things I'll want to share with my family and friends.

Natasha Atkerson said...

Umm...loaded question! To make a long story short, I think it would be a time waster! Also I think it's just a place (as you said) for younger people to post the dumb things they do. I know some people who've gotten into trouble on there and it's just not for me.
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Kristin said...

I don't know why I keep it around. Mine is a mix of local-yokels who can't spell, moms who want weaning and potty training advice, and people I generally try to avoid in real life. Why do we do this to ourselves???

Anonymous said...

I use mine to keep up with old friends and my family. Life gets in the way of mass amounts of individual phone calls and letters so a little Facebook stalking is necessary to see what everyone is up to. And it's the #2 way my husband and I are keeping in touch while he's deployed...Skype being #1.

Unknown said...

Oh myspace, I was totally all over that. It makes me feel old to realize I was on facebook back when you had to have a college e-mail to be on it. I'm on facebook, similar to you, as a way to connect. When I was in Cambodia I used to it stay connected to family, and now that I'm back I use it to stay connected to our friends still in Cambodia. I actually just went though it last night and deleted about 40 people off of my friend list. If I wouldn't talk to you in real life, I guess I don't really need you on facebook.