I don't tend to handle "Goodbye" with poise and dignity. Though I've never actually been stabbed, I always compare the emotional pain of saying goodbye to your home and family to the physical pain of a knife wound. Years ago, Goodbye left me kneeling in an airport terminal, sobbing uncontrollably, convinced my heart would never be whole again. Today, I walk through that same terminal, and I feel familiar feelings, hoping this time I can hold my tears back till I'm on the plane.
The TCK life isn't for the faint of heart. No matter where I am in the world, I feel the absence of another home, of another family. Because of this, I've occasionally asked myself whether each "hello" is worth the "goodbye" I know will come sooner or later. But even as I ask the question, I know the answer. "Hello" is worth every single tear that "goodbye" brings.
Home is worth having, even if someday you have to leave. People are worth loving passionately, even when you honestly aren't sure you'll ever see them again.
Don't let the fear of goodbye prevent you from hello. Goodbye won't kill you--I'm proof of that. But if it feels like it will kill you, you're doing it right.
I am no stranger to goodbye. Even still it can be a bit difficult at times. When I was a child, I had grown so accustomed to saying goodbye. It became second nature. You learn that quickly as an Army Brat. But now, as an adult after having spent so much of my childhood saying it, its actually harder.
As an adult I understand what goodbye means and it hurts. Like you said, I guess that means I'm doing it right.
Beautiful post though. I'm no longer envious of those who don't mind saying goodbye. That probably means they're missing something in their lives.
This is proof that home is where you make it. Home isn't really a place. To me, it's actually wherever my belongings are. If I have a place to keep my worldly possessions, that's where my current home is. I'm still transitioning! Re-visiting old homes is such an emotional process.
hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs!!
*Hugs* Ugh saying goodbye SUCKS!
At least you have Angel to go home to this time, right?
Lots of hugs! Goodbyes are never easy.
Aw, hugs and hugs to you! I'm so sorry that it's so hard, but you're so right: if goodbye doesn't hurt, the hello doesn't mean as much as it should. Praying for you!
Yes, otherwise I don't think anything else would be enough to convince me to leave!
lots of love going your way. Goodbye is hard, but only if the time after the hello was really great. Keep making those good memories girl and they will hold you up through all the goodbyes.
Ahhhhh I sooooo am feeling this post. Yes, "nomads" can make their home anywhere they are, but at the same time, it's also like saying good-bye to several different homes. It's hard. But I also like how you said that that shouldn't stop you from fully investing in where you're at at the moment. For sure!
--Erika
http://www.chimerikal.com
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