We Shouldn't Live in A Neighborhood

 It might be kind of hard to tell, but this is the time that Angel mowed a heart shape into our yard for me.

I have a funny feeling that for Angel and I, the best place for us will always either be the boondocks, where there's no one around to be annoyed by us, or a high-rise apartment building, where at least we won't have a lawn to be responsible for.

Without further ado, I present to you:

10 Reasons Why It's a Very Good Thing That Angel and I Don't Live in a Neighborhood:

1. I'll start with the most seasonally appropriate one: We don't rake our leaves.

2. We don't water, fertilize, or put weed killer our lawn. This is partially based on our values and partially just laziness. I don't think fertilizing grass or killing weeds is a great reason to put chemicals where I walk. To me, it's just not worth it. Plus...neither one of us really cares how pretty our grass is.

3. Angel isn't the most consistent lawn mower. I swear he's getting better. He is 100% in charge of our tractor mower and I choose not to nag him to mow the lawn no matter what it looks like. Last summer, he mowed more frequently than in previous years, but only in random semi-artistic patches. It was kind of weird.

4. We have frequent bonfires. All year long, even in the dead of winter when the snow is so deep that I have to use a shovel to find the exact location of our burn pit. You see, people in neighborhoods might have to use a paper shredder on important documents, because there might be rules about outdoor fires. But we think bonfires are ever so much more exciting than paper shredders.

5. We like to host large parties. Our driveway and yard are large enough that so far, no one has ever had to park on the street. We have room for everybody! This would not be the case if we lived in a subdivision.

6. We don't have curtains.

7. Sometimes having guests over means target practice in the backyard (always with great care and many safety measures). This might be frowned upon in civilized regions.

8. I typically run away from the door instead of answering it when someone knocks (See DoorbellPhobia). I have a feeling we would get a lot more people knocking on the door if we lived in a neighborhood.

9. We have invested $0 in seasonal outdoor decorations. All Christmas lights are indoors. Not much fun for people driving down the road, but significantly easier to put up and take down.

10. I believe in composting rather than throwing away remains of food, however, my version of composting usually looks like feeding leftovers from dinner to our cats and putting apple cores and banana peels in the woods behind my house. Not very scientific.

You may now all go into your weekends rejoicing that you don't happen to live 30 feet away from Angel and Rachel. However, we're nice people from a distance. :)