The Random Writings of Rachel: Angelisms, Part 6

Angelisms, Part 6


 Probably the most perfect picture of these three brothers ever taken.

When we met, Angel's voicemail and text message ringtones were:
"Master, I have mail for you." and "Sexy, you've got mail." both in a seductive woman's voice.
Surprisingly, I still married him.

He likes using English very literally--he prefers to only take into account the literal truth of one sentence with no regard for the actual truth that a sentence implies. Hence, his "first white wife" line in his post about our anniversary and the fact that he purposely started a rumor that we hadn't kissed before we got married by writing on Facebook, "I can't wait to kiss Rachel for the first time on our wedding day!"--he claims that the meaning was that he was excited for whatever happened to the be the first kiss on our wedding day...he says he can't help it if other people make different assumptions about his use of the English language.

"Ewww, these almonds are covered in dark chocolate."

I ran outdoors to get the mail with no coat on and he locked me out of the house. (Yes, on purpose.) When I started yelling and banging on the door, he  rushed to the door, opened it, and said, "I saved you, Baby, I saved you!"

In response to the recent below 0 temperatures and harsh windchill and drifts of snow as high as my shoulder: "It's days like these that I want so much in the middle of August"

 Also, on the most horrible of bad weather days he tries to be inspirational: "Just above these clouds are bright blue sunny skies. Just because we can't see them doesn't mean they're not there." 

He tries to convince everyone--and I mean everyone, my baby sisters included, to watch two horrible scary movies: Tremors and The Grey. Ever heard of them? The first one is a silly kind of scary, but the second one is far beyond scary. Don't watch them. 

23 comments:

  1. Always love Angelisms! I'm sure you already know this, but you two really couldn't be more perfect for each other! ;) Sometimes Tyler does the same thing (unintentionally, however) where he'll say something and people take it a completely different way, so he always says, "I know what I'm talking about!" haha

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  2. hahaha. the whole locking you out of the house deal sounds like something Josh would do. payback :)

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  3. First of all, those VM and text messages sound HYSTERICAL. Like, I actually laughed out loud reading that. I told Izzy I want the theme "song" for American Horror Story as my ringtone, but then I realized that if it went off when I was home alone I might actually get freaked out.

    Oh and I actually kind of love scary movies... should I watch The Grey? I keep seeing it on Netflix and passing it by....

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  4. I love these posts! I cracked up at the first kiss thing and the "I saved you!". Sounds like you married a gem!

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  5. LOL. I think if Angel was my partner he'd get a lot of wrist slaps! ;)

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  6. Ha ha! You two are so quirky.

    My husband loves scary movies. I do like "real" scary movies, not gore movies. The Shining is like that. Should I watch The Grey?

    bisous
    Suzanne

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  7. Bahaha. "Ew, these almonds have dark chocolate on them!" The best.

    I guess I'm technically a first white wife too, haha. There better just not be a second...

    Would it make you feel any better if I said that the chances of a situation like The Grey happening in real life are like 1 in 5,000,000,000? Wolves just don't stalk and kill and eat an entire group of people. They just don't.

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  8. Haha this is really cute. Sounds like you two are the perfect match! I like the way he thinks about the snowy days tough- it's so true! You always want them when it's super hot, but then complain when they come?! It should not work that way!

    xo

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  9. Hahaha, you just cracked me up with this story Rachel. Thx for the warning, I will not watch them.

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  10. OMG The Grey is my bf's favorite movie - what is it with men and this movie/!?!? I watched the first 30 minutes and said turn it off. Lol. LOVE that picture btw - definitely is the best pic of them (without the need to see further proof) Happy Hump Day Rachel! -Iva

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  11. dying. laughing.

    your husband sounds so crazy. and funny. and....
    I loved the

    "I ran outdoors to get the mail with no coat on and he locked me out of the house. (Yes, on purpose.) When I started yelling and banging on the door, he rushed to the door, opened it, and said, "I saved you, Baby, I saved you!"

    hahaha. :P you should return the favor and "save" him sometime :P

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  12. haha! these are so funny. they seem like the kind of things that would make me laugh when I was good a good mood and annoy me terribly if I was cranky. Hurray for quirks!

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  13. I agree with Carolynn that you should "save" him sometime:) I would have been pissed, but then laughed:) So fun to read!

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  14. Haha, this is fun. I use English quite literally too, but that's because I think there is something wrong with me which is a whole different story!

    Corinne x
    www.skinnedcartree.com
    www.bloggerforums.co.uk

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  15. That picture is hilarious!

    http://www.ourlifeisbeautiful.com/

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  16. You two are the best, so much fun.

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  17. hahaha these are great. I love the one about locking you out :)

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  18. The locking you out thing? Definitely something my husband would do. He likes to dip me backwards and swoop me back up saying he saved me from falling. I'll have to tell him about those movies. He loves scary movies. I will be upstairs or have my back turned with headphones on because I can't handle them.

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  19. Tremors creeps me out. Not really a great movie... Just icky! And how can he hate chocolate covered almonds?? Blasphemy! Also, the locking you out thing is something I could totally see R doing!

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  20. I hope you have more of these on tap... the link up is next Tuesday for "shit men say"! Sounds like he provides you with plenty of material. ;P

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  21. ""Just above these clouds are bright blue sunny skies. Just because we can't see them doesn't mean they're not there." bahaha, the last thing a freezing cold person wants to hear, right? luckily it's actually been sunny in minneapolis -20 and sunshine. i love love love that photo - how'd you do it? did they actually have the strength to hang like that?

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  22. I'm laughing at the literal English. My 9 year old is the same way. He honestly does not do it on purpose, it's just how he thinks. I'm forever having to "translate" what he actually means.

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  23. That sounds just like Will when we met. Oh...how lucky our boys are to have us now ;)

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