If You Kiss You Have to Marry
In the movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, there's a scene where the two little kids are peeking at their father and a lady he recently met. One kid asks the other one "Have they kissed yet?" and, upon getting an answer in the negative, says, "Okay, well let me know if they do, because if they kiss they have to marry!"
Now, that is not a direct quote. It's probably been 10 years since I've seen the movie. I'm sure someone here on the internet could provide me with the exact wording of the conversation, but that's the gist of it. The conclusion of the children was that if their father kissed his new lady friend, he would be required to marry her.
Somehow, after watching the movie as young children, that statement became a part of my family's vocabulary. I can't remember if my parents actually encouraged it as truth or not, but I distinctly remember from that point on, if characters in a movie ever kissed, we'd start chanting: "Oh no! They kissed, now they have to get married!!"
I'm sure our parents must have found us hilarious. If we ever saw married people (including our parents) kissing, we'd shout, "Good thing they're already married!"
We were such interesting children.
"If you kiss you have to marry."
That little phrase was drilled into me as a kid, first heard in the context of an exceptionally silly movie.
I didn't give it too much deep thought as I grew up. Sure, there was always someone in our family who would obnoxiously shout "If they kiss they have to marry" at the most tender moments in movies like Roman Holiday. Some of us eventually grew out of that method of dispelling the emotional tension of a traumatic goodbye scene, some of us didn't. (Hint: Don't watch over-the-top romantic movies with my little sisters. You will spend the whole time laughing at the running commentary.)
However, after leaving home, I kind of forgot about our family tradition/rule/theory/whatever-it-was. Or maybe not. Maybe I knew very well what I was doing when I recklessly kissed Angel on that Sunday in May 2009. Poor guy, he didn't know that he'd just kissed a girl under the "If you kiss you have to marry" spell. He never had a chance.