A Moment's Legacy

I remember when I was at a fast-food restaurant and while my family finished their order I was sent ahead to find a table for 9 where we could sit. A lady  walked up to take away the chair next to me at the table I chose. I turned to her and said, "Oh, I'm so sorry, but my family is coming to sit here right now, so we need the chairs." She walked away in a huff, saying loudly, to no one in particular, "Some people just think they can save everything!"

I remember when I was wandering around a grocery store and a lady stopped me and said, "I just have to tell you that your shoes are too cute!"

I remember being 13 years old, about to sit down in my seat on an airplane when the lady sitting directly in front of me jumped up out of her chair, turned to me and said, quite viciously, "If you kick or bump my chair ONE TIME I will immediately call the stewardess and have you removed to another part of the airplane."

I remember one time, after a play I performed in as a teenager, a random man came up to tell me: "You are very talented. I wouldn't be surprised if you end up as a professional actress one day."

I remember walking into an elevator with my mom and the lady inside sneering and spitting out the words: "Orang putih!" ("white people")

I remember a girl who thrust a doughnut and a napkin into my hands after seeing me walk into one of the buildings on my college campus sobbing, my makeup ruined with tears. "Eat this," she said, "Sugar will make you feel better."

I remember a cosmetologist who spent my entire haircut railing on about lazy, dirty, no-good Hispanics who use up government funds.

 {I don't think it's ever a good idea to go on political/social rants of that sort while cutting a client's hair...but it's probably an even worse idea if your client is married to a 2nd gen. Mexican...}

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I don't know any of these people. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't even recognize them again if I saw them. I've only had momentary encounters with each one of them, but I've remembered each of them for years.

We never know what kind of an impact we make on the people around us. With most people, we may get one, and only one, chance to make an impression.

All of the encounters I mentioned above left an impression of that person on me. I may have been confused, offended, had my feelings hurt, or I may have walked away with a smile, feeling unusually appreciated and cared for.

Maybe a moment isn't enough to judge the true character of a person. Maybe the lady who snapped at me on the airplane isn't a grumpy kid-hater, maybe she was just feeling really sick and having a bad day, but normally she's really nice. Maybe the girl who gave me her doughnut to cheer me up isn't actually a kindhearted person, maybe she's mean and stingy and accidentally had a moment of generosity that she regretted forever because now she didn't have a doughnut to eat.

I mean, maybe. But even if those scenarios were true, I would never know from their actions to me. From my encounters with these people, all I know about them is the legacy that they displayed in the moment that I knew them. Maybe the "Orang putih!" lady and the cosmetologist aren't actually vocal racists. Maybe.

We all experience encounters where we only get a moment to leave a legacy. When a stranger stumbles and steps on your toe while passing you in the street, in that moment you have a choice of how to respond, of how they will forever remember you. When buying a pack of gum at the gas station, when sharing an elevator, when a teenage girl like me walks by with tears running down her face...

I know I've left legacies that I'm ashamed of now. In the moment, I was annoyed, or my temper flared up and I said something I now wish I didn't say. But the moment is gone. Chances are slim I'll ever run into that person again, and there's no way to change the legacy I left.

It's worth considering. Most of us think about the legacy that we want to leave at the end of a life's work done. But how often do we consider what kind of legacy do we want to leave after a momentary encounter with a stranger?

It may not seem like it at the time, but a moment matters.

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Do you have a story, or a few, about an encounter with a stranger that left a strong mark on your memory, for better or worse?