The Random Writings of Rachel: Angelisms, part 7

Angelisms, part 7



Scene: Angel, carrying his laptop, walks past me and into the kitchen announcing:
"I'm just going to make myself some chocolate chip cookies."

Knowing that my husband can cook, but has never actually baked, I volunteer to help him in his sudden quest for home-baked goods. He took me up on  a suggestion of making "the big cookie" as my family always called it, slightly easier than actual chocolate chip cookies.
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Scene: Playing Boggle

Angel tries to pass off gleet and gile as real words.

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Scene: Hanging out on the couch.

Angel: "So-and-so {his coworker} has a TON of chest hair."

Rachel: "Umm, why and how do you know that?"

Angel: "Because I asked him whether or not he had a lot of chest hair."
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Scene: Making lunch together

Angel: "I was just thinking about the question "What object would I dis-invent in order to ruin my Rachy's life?" "

Rachel {In horror}: "WHY were you thinking about that question? That's awful!"

Angel: "I decided on the perfect answer: Malaysia."

Rachel: "You cannot dis-invent Malaysia and you should not be thinking about how to ruin my life."

Angel: "Well, what would you dis-invent in order to ruin my life?"

Rachel: "Chocolate."

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Scene: Chatting in the car.

Angel: "So, I was thinking when we get to China, I should introduce myself to everyone with a nickname."

Rachel: "Why, exactly?"

Angel: "China's like a fresh start, so maybe I should have a new name."

Rachel: "What nickname were you thinking of?"

Angel: "I'm thinking either Ang or AJ."

Rachel: "Ang rhymes with mange, so I don't like it. What is the J in AJ supposed to be for?"

Angel: "Angel Junior, of course!"

Rachel: "Okay.... I vote for sticking with Angel. Unless we want to give you an entirely different name, like Geoffrey."

Angel does not want his new nickname to be Geoffrey.

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Scene: Angel had made smoothies for us to take to the park for a picnic. I had suggested putting them in our thermos-type water bottles. When packing for the picnic, I couldn't find the smoothies in the fridge.

Rachel: "Hey, where are the smoothies you made?"

Angel: "Right here! [in my Rubbermaid storage bowls that usually house leftovers, this is why I didn't recognize them as containing smoothies] I wanted to make a LOT and I didn't think the water bottles were big enough, we'll just pack these and drink the smoothie with a spoon."

You gotta give him points for creativity...I'm pretty sure it would never occur to me to bring a smoothie to the park in a Rubbermaid storage bowl and drink it with a spoon...but hey, if that means I can have more smoothie than will fit in a water bottle, that's a good thing!

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Scene: An 8 year old kid asks Angel if I (Rachel) am his mom.

Angel: "No, she's my grandma."

(By the way...I am not even remotely old enough to be Angel's mom. Or grandma.)

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Scene: During a lull in the conversation. With a friend, coworker, or family member. This has happened several times, but Angel always asks the question to a married man.

Angel: "So, did your wife have a lot of boyfriends before she married you?"

(The response is usually spluttering, laughter, or "What kind of question is that?)

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So, everyone's funniest Angel just had a big birthday. His 30th, to be exact.

We went to his favorite restaurant on his birthday, and discovered that Culver's was born the same time he was! 
 
My secret goal in my 22 while 22 post last year was to create a surprise of some sort for Angel's 30th birthday. I had many different ideas for surprises throughout the year, from big gifts to vacations to parties, but eventually settled on one that took our plans to move just days after his birthday (and our upcoming vacation) into account: his surprise was a little black notebook. I spent the last 6 months coordinating its travel from one friend or family member to another with orders for them to write out a memory of Angel in honor of his birthday. The result is a seemingly ordinary notebook with a compilation of over 30 stories from his family, mine, and our friends handwritten inside. Angel said it was the best birthday present he'd ever received, so I'd count that a success. I also asked my grandma to secretly make him a Texas Sheet Cake, so he got a surprise dessert, as well!

By the way, he got me curious. Is it normal to contemplate what you would 'dis-invent' in order to ruin your spouse's life and if so what would you dis-invent?

31 comments:

  1. OK I absolutely loved this. The chest hair question is random but hilarious and I'd love it that you could kill him by taking away his chocolate. Also, great idea about the rubbermaid bowls.

    Happy 30th Birthday to your man!! May he continue to have a happy and loving life with you by his side and may you both make beautiful babies one day!!

    P.S. The top I am wearing in Today's post I could totally see you wear Rachel. I think it would look fantastic on you, actually. =))


    HAPPY MONDAY!!

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  2. Haha great post! Happy Birthday to Angel! I personally like Geoffrey and think he should at least try it out a few times. Also, I imagine the conversation with his co-worker going like this, "Hey do you have a lot of chest hair?" "Oh yeah! Tons! Wanna see?" and then I couldn't stop laughing.

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  3. This was just too funny! And what an awesomely cool birthday gift. :)
    Debbie
    www.fashionfairydust.blogspot.com

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  4. Ha ha ha! This is funny! Smoothies in a bowl?!? Works for me! I have no idea what I would dis-invent to ruin my spouse's life. Chicken? Sports? Popsicles? I'm not sure these things can be dis-invented very easily.

    Happy birthday to Angel!

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  5. No, no it is not normal to think of such things! Oh, but the rubbermaid bowls. typical man thoughts. He's something else :)

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  6. LOL at you be his grandma! What a hamster!

    I would be so embarrassed if someone asked Joel if I had a lot of boyfriends before we married!

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  7. oh gosh, he asked someone how much chest hair he had? that's cute and hilarious :)

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  8. I laughed at loud when I saw he asked his coworker how much chest hair he had. And, after much thought - I think I would either disinvent ESPN or Wikipedia to make my husband's life miserable. He loves sports and he loves being able to look up any answer to any question he might have at a moment's notice.

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  9. I cannot even stop laughing at these. You definitely married someone who will keep you entertained the rest of your life!

    I think if I wanted to ruin Isaiah's life...which, honestly, I have never even had that thought cross my mind!...it would be books. I don't know what that man would do if he couldn't read.

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  10. Ha ha! Angel isn't any ordinary dude that is for sure.

    That person that asked if you were his mother must have been seriously visually impaired.

    I LOVE the idea of that memory booklet. What a creative wonderful idea and keepsake.

    bisous
    Suzanne

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  11. I'd like some of that cookie.

    And I miss Culver's! We used to live by one, but then we moved, and there isn't one in Oklahoma.

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  12. Oh, Angel! He's got to be a real hit at parties, asking about chest hair and boyfriends! I have never contemplated dis-inventing something to ruin my husband's life, but I know if someone dis-invented the Xbox he would wither.

    I always thought Culvers was a Midwest thing, and then I saw one out West while on a road trip. I have good memories of that place!

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  13. Oh my goodness I love this glimpse into your lives and conversations. Angel is totally as weird as you are...you guys are the perfect match.

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  14. Haha, I don't think wishing to dis-invent things is normal, but alright, I'll give it a go. I'd dis-invent video games to ruin my husband's life. lol. You guys are too cute.

    http://howtomakehome.blogspot.com

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  15. Haha! The tupperware thing killed me. Oh, and Lauren, I had the same idea! I'll dis-invent video games to simultaneously ruin his life and make mine awesome! Haha! Ok, no, I need to be fair, he has self-control and never plays when my son is awake, just when we both have veg time in the evening. :) But that is a pretty funny thing to wonder about. :)

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  16. Happy birthday Angel! Angel-isms are some of my favorite posts. He cracks me up. I especially like the boyfriends question... I think my husband wouldn't even think it was a weird question! (Also, his answer would be: none! My answer: one serious relationship, one "junior high dating" type of relationship, which barely counts.)

    I've never thought of dis-inventing something, but I don't think it's a weird thing to ponder. I love playing "the question game" with my husband and we've asked each other some pretty weird questions. Ummmm... I guess I'd dis-invent bicycles? But since they're the major source of his income, that would probably be a bad idea.

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  17. Oh my gosh, I absolutely love reading about your relationship with your husband. These are absolutely the best. I couldn't stop cracking up at them. I love the idea of his square cookie. Hey, it's the same thing, so good for him! ;)

    "No, she's my grandma." Hahahah!

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  18. I always wonder what guys talk about when no girls are around. Chest hair comparisons? Interesting.

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  19. ah Angel. thank you for making my morning interesting :)

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  20. Hahahaha! These are all hilarious! I feel sure I would like Angel (or should I call him AJ?). :)

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  21. I always love these posts!! So hilarious, I love the dis-invent one, but if you dis-invent chocolate you'll ruin my life too!
    And what a sweet birthday present! I love the foresight you put into it (I'm usually a last minute gift giver)

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  22. It's totally not normal to wonder that, but I love it. I would definitely disinvent ESPN.... sorry to the men of America who would have to find something else to do with their time. Also I love his random question of men - hilarious!

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  23. I can't pick if the "grandma" or "chest hair" Angelism is my favorite! So funny!
    I would love to dis-invent games...video games, board games, phone games. All of them. And it would ruin Tyler's life, but he might do more things outside with me! haha

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  24. these are hilarious!! oh to be a fly on the wall in your home...

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  25. Happy Birthday Angel :) cute scenarios and answers here. Rachel

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  26. That is SUCH a sweet gift! I love it. Rachel, that is so thoughtful. How great that he liked it. To my surprise, I asked Justin what he would disinvent and without hesitating he told me coffee! I never would have thought to ask him. Oh well, I would disinvent Transformers.

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  27. These all crack me up! I might call him Geoffrey forever. Hmm what would I dis-invent to ruin John's life... probably hockey. Specifically the Blackhawks. I wouldn't want to though, I love them too!

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  28. Hahaha I can't believe he asked his coworker if he had a lot of chest hair!!!

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  29. This was hysterical. He has a great sense of humor.

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  30. Oh my goodness that gift is the best! What a fantastic idea!

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