Angelisms, part 7

Scene: Angel, carrying his laptop, walks past me and into the kitchen announcing:
"I'm just going to make myself some chocolate chip cookies."

Knowing that my husband can cook, but has never actually baked, I volunteer to help him in his sudden quest for home-baked goods. He took me up on  a suggestion of making "the big cookie" as my family always called it, slightly easier than actual chocolate chip cookies.
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Scene: Playing Boggle

Angel tries to pass off gleet and gile as real words.

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Scene: Hanging out on the couch.

Angel: "So-and-so {his coworker} has a TON of chest hair."

Rachel: "Umm, why and how do you know that?"

Angel: "Because I asked him whether or not he had a lot of chest hair."
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Scene: Making lunch together

Angel: "I was just thinking about the question "What object would I dis-invent in order to ruin my Rachy's life?" "

Rachel {In horror}: "WHY were you thinking about that question? That's awful!"

Angel: "I decided on the perfect answer: Malaysia."

Rachel: "You cannot dis-invent Malaysia and you should not be thinking about how to ruin my life."

Angel: "Well, what would you dis-invent in order to ruin my life?"

Rachel: "Chocolate."

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Scene: Chatting in the car.

Angel: "So, I was thinking when we get to China, I should introduce myself to everyone with a nickname."

Rachel: "Why, exactly?"

Angel: "China's like a fresh start, so maybe I should have a new name."

Rachel: "What nickname were you thinking of?"

Angel: "I'm thinking either Ang or AJ."

Rachel: "Ang rhymes with mange, so I don't like it. What is the J in AJ supposed to be for?"

Angel: "Angel Junior, of course!"

Rachel: "Okay.... I vote for sticking with Angel. Unless we want to give you an entirely different name, like Geoffrey."

Angel does not want his new nickname to be Geoffrey.

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Scene: Angel had made smoothies for us to take to the park for a picnic. I had suggested putting them in our thermos-type water bottles. When packing for the picnic, I couldn't find the smoothies in the fridge.

Rachel: "Hey, where are the smoothies you made?"

Angel: "Right here! [in my Rubbermaid storage bowls that usually house leftovers, this is why I didn't recognize them as containing smoothies] I wanted to make a LOT and I didn't think the water bottles were big enough, we'll just pack these and drink the smoothie with a spoon."

You gotta give him points for creativity...I'm pretty sure it would never occur to me to bring a smoothie to the park in a Rubbermaid storage bowl and drink it with a spoon...but hey, if that means I can have more smoothie than will fit in a water bottle, that's a good thing!

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Scene: An 8 year old kid asks Angel if I (Rachel) am his mom.

Angel: "No, she's my grandma."

(By the way...I am not even remotely old enough to be Angel's mom. Or grandma.)

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Scene: During a lull in the conversation. With a friend, coworker, or family member. This has happened several times, but Angel always asks the question to a married man.

Angel: "So, did your wife have a lot of boyfriends before she married you?"

(The response is usually spluttering, laughter, or "What kind of question is that?)

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So, everyone's funniest Angel just had a big birthday. His 30th, to be exact.

We went to his favorite restaurant on his birthday, and discovered that Culver's was born the same time he was! 

 

My secret goal in my 22 while 22 post last year was to create a surprise of some sort for Angel's 30th birthday. I had many different ideas for surprises throughout the year, from big gifts to vacations to parties, but eventually settled on one that took our plans to move just days after his birthday (and our upcoming vacation) into account: his surprise was a little black notebook. I spent the last 6 months coordinating its travel from one friend or family member to another with orders for them to write out a memory of Angel in honor of his birthday. The result is a seemingly ordinary notebook with a compilation of over 30 stories from his family, mine, and our friends handwritten inside. Angel said it was the best birthday present he'd ever received, so I'd count that a success. I also asked my grandma to secretly make him a Texas Sheet Cake, so he got a surprise dessert, as well!

By the way, he got me curious. Is it normal to contemplate what you would 'dis-invent' in order to ruin your spouse's life and if so what would you dis-invent?