The Random Writings of Rachel: That Time My Hips Were Suspicious

That Time My Hips Were Suspicious


 Angel, guarding our luggage during our 6 hour plane delay in San Francisco. After both the hip incident and the delay, I've decided that SFO is not in the running for my favorite airport. Thus far, Singapore and Gerald R. Ford International are the top two.

I had to get patted down after going through the scanning machine at security.

I try so hard each time to figure out what to wear so that I don't get patted down. I was wearing a cotton dress with jeans underneath--apparently this combo didn't work for me.

I'm silently submitting to the pat down when the lady asks, with her hand on my hip,

"Ma'am, have you removed all items from your pockets?"

"Yes." I confirm.

"Well, it feels to me like you have something hard that sticks out of this pocket right here, can you please remove that?" she says, patting on my hip.

"Umm, that's my hipbone," I say.

 Her other hand moves to my right hip, as if to confirm that my body is roughly symmetrical in shape.

"Oh, well, then, you're good." she says, and waves me on by.

Now, perhaps my hipbones are a little pointier than average, but that's the first time I've ever had them considered a suspicious item on my person.

I feel like there's a joke to be make out of this...but I'm too sleepy. And it's fairly awkward to write an entire blog post about hips, so give me a few minutes to get over that.

(Also, please, no worries about my health. I've been the same weight and size for over 10  years and it's very normal for my bones to be a little on the pointy side.)

28 comments:

  1. That is hilarious! I don't like the San Francisco airport either. Hopefully all your future rounds of security will be better:)

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  2. hahaha. I really thought you were going to say you forgot to take something out of your pockets. that's pretty funny i must say!

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  3. Ha! I could see that happening--they are hyper-suspicious about all the wrong things.

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  4. Something similar to that happened to me a few years ago! I was living in VA and flying to ID with a friend. My shirt had a metal ring on it that was attached, so I had to be patted down as well. The TSO official was a big black woman and she poked my hip and asked, "What's that?" I replied, "My hip...." She then said, very stereotypically, with hands on her hips and the head roll, "Girl, You gotta put some meat on those bones!" HAHAHAHAHAHA

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  5. Lol that's awesome - I would be so pissed yet confused and amused. Seriously your hips? Wow. Glad you're healthy and have fun getting to China! Safe travels and happy Friday guys -Iva

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  6. Haha! This made me laugh out loud. Although you probably aren't laughing. ;)

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  7. Oh no! Haha... I feel like those airport security people pat down enough people each day they should be familiar with all body shapes and sizes... better safe than sorry I guess. :)

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  8. Haha! Probably not the best time and place to bust out in Shakira's "Hips dont lie" right?

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  9. lol, that's a new one... Airport travel stories are never dull.

    Safe travels!

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  10. Ha ha! Love the title to this post! Safe travels on your new adventure!

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  11. That's definitely an exciting start! Safe travels!

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  12. Wow I've never heard of that happening! Don't go hip checking anyone, you could hurt them lol!

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  13. That's so funny. anyway, enjoy your trip.

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  14. Hahaha! Wow. That is an awesome story. You get pulled aside for carrying a concealed hipbone...too much!
    Debbie
    www.fashionfairydust.blogspot.com

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  15. HAHAHAHAHAHAH excuse me, sir, is that a banana in your pocket? What a buncha lugs, those airport guys.

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  16. You got me laughing out loud! Hip bone as a suspicious object... Hmm...

    Jo
    Jo's Jumbled Jardinière

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  17. Hips dont lie! Oh airports and their weird security! I have never had that one happen to me. I usually travel in leggings and a big shirt with easy to remove shoes.

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  18. Security threat! Lethal weapons!

    So funny/ridiculous!!!

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  19. Hahaha! I'm sure she'd encountered pointy hips before you. Sometimes I think they must just be really sarcastic people who have a lot of inside jokes - and thus pat down people and ask ridiculous questions. Okay, probably not. Who knows though, maybe TSA is worried you could use those hips in a dangerous way! ;)

    I almost always forget some piece of metal and have to be patted down anyway. They're always particularly suspicious of my under-wire (I feel the need to hashtag #bustygirlproblems).

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  20. hahaha this is hilarious! Oh people...

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  21. oh gosh, this was an actual laugh out loud story- too funny :)

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  22. ha! lady...those are body parts. sheesh. good luck on the move! enjoy the journey together!!

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  23. You are so freaking hilarious Rachel. Love love your random posts. They are so witty and fun to read. =)

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  24. Oh my goodness! That is hilarious and amazingly fantastic! I can't believe she thought your hip bone was something else!

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  25. hahaha! oh my gosh! so funny! they must not feel too many hip bones!

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  26. Ah, the good ol' pat down. I'm glad your hips made it through security. ;)

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