The Random Writings of Rachel: The Two of Us

The Two of Us

I know I generally give a very lighthearted view of my marriage around here. Angel's a funny guy--it's only natural to appropriate his humor for my blog posts.

But I wanted to say, on a more serious note, I'm glad I married him.

We're really married, ya'll. Four years ago today we got engaged, which means that later this year we'll be celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary. I may look pretty much the same but I'm no longer the 19 year old blushing bride I once was.

You know, we never had a fight till after we were married. I remember, back in the day, Angel telling me, "I can't imagine ever being mad at you."


Well that was just in the beginning. He's been mad at me..2 or 3 times. I've been mad at him...noticeably more often than that. We aren't a particularly tumultuous couple but every once in a while we fiercely disagree with the other. Over the past few  years we've learned how to fiercely disagree in better ways. I've learned that timing matters--don't bring up serious conversations when he's just come home from work after 4 days of 12-hour shifts in a row. He's learned the importance of admitting when he was at fault and that telling me not to cry is never, ever going to actually make me not cry (never).

I'm more likely to joke about marriage, and tell funny stories about my husband, because those are the kind of stories I like to tell. I love real life humor. Real life is more hilarious than fiction could ever be. But that's not the whole story. Our life has its serious moments, too. We make big decisions together, decisions that I can't quite believe I'm old enough to make. Together we pray, we work, we study, and we teach each other from our own skill sets. Angel makes me push my limits and do things I'm scared to do, but he also knows me well enough to help me in situations I really don't know how to handle. On the other hand, because of me, Angel's begun a lifestyle he never thought he would have wanted.

We're so different. Sometimes I wonder what could I possibly have in common with this athletic California boy who eats foods that I think are disgusting, tells jokes to complete strangers, and thinks it's fun to wear a bear costume. The funny thing is that we agree on everything that really matters, and that's the miracle. One of my sisters said once that Angel and I are perfect for each other because we're both a little odd and we understand each other's oddness better than everyone else--and it is a very, very good thing to be known by someone who understands you so well. We're good together, and we've gotten better as time has passed.

When I went off to college, my grandpa told me to stay away from boys, especially Christian boys who I met at Bible study. I asked how he expected me to ever get married. He told me that when I was done with college he would give my his permission to not stay away from boys anymore and instruction on how to proceed to the marriage stage of life, but in the meantime, I had to obey the rule. I promptly broke the rule. Back in 2010 Angel and I decided to do life together. I didn't know what that would mean in reality. I don't think anyone does. I still don't know what our future life is going to look like exactly. But I'm convinced our story will be one well worth the telling, and that's all I ever wanted.

38 comments:

  1. Love this! And I have to know... Is the bear costume making the move?

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  2. Love this! Love it when people talk about loving their spouses as their friends! Marriage is awesome! (I have "everything is awesome" stuck in my head... this will be my word of choice for a while.)

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  3. Yay I just love this, it sounds like you two have a wonderful marriage.

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  4. Yes!!!! To all of it. Your story to tell is a great one and I'm so glad you do. I love the part about finding the right time to talk to him about problems & him telling you not to cry! So funny and so true. Thanks for sharing this. Love!!!!

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  5. Indeed. Continuing your decision to share, document, and remember the positive will always go a long way in preserving and maintaining such a marriage :)

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  6. so much love and heart in this post!

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  7. Aw lovely post. I really like seeing posts/stories like this, it certainly makes me even more hopeful as we move forward in planning our wedding and our lives together.

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  8. Tell your story, because it's inspiring to others. Life is not all fun and games. We need to record all of it, or we don't learn from any of it. Congrats to you guys!

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  9. It's nice to hear that other couples don't really get mad at each other that much either :) it's nice huh?!

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  10. I love this! And I love that although you admit you have disagreements, you aren't a tumultuous couple. We "fight" sometimes too, but we have never yelled at each other or stormed off. I am very proud of that.

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  11. Such a sweet post! I definitely love what your sister said... That's a recipe for a great relationship!

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  12. Awww... This is just the sweetest! I'm glad you didn't follow the advice given you. ;-)

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  13. Awww... Very sweet post. My sister told me something similar before I got married. She said Justin and I are weird, but our weirdness is what makes us perfect for one another. Your story is beautiful! :D

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  14. Heart! You two are great for each other! Thank you for sharing :)

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  15. What a great post. I love that you understand one another's oddness - that is definitely a true testament to marriage! I also agree with the decisions that you don't feel old enough to make. As someone a chunk of years older than you, I want to add that that feeling doesn't go away,,, at least not by 29. Will report back after I settle into 30 :)

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  16. What a beautiful post. Your story will absolutely always be one worth telling. Together you two are forming a legacy that will reach and touch countless future generations.

    You know, it's funny. Jim and I actually fought WAY way more before we got married. Once we got married I guess we both decided to lighten up ;) we don't ever really fight anymore. Go team!

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  17. So sweet! It's an awesome feeling to find the person that God specifically designed for you to do life with. And that first comment has me cracking up! Is the bear costume staying or going???

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  18. I love how you guys are opposites! I personally believe opposites attract way better than someone who is your mirror. Wishing you guys another happy 60-70 years together!

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  19. This is so sweet! Everyone has their own quirks and if you find someone who appreciates them and loves you for them, then that is the most wonderful thing:)

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  20. I enjoyed reading this and good for you for going against grandpa :)

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  21. Absolutely love this- sums up so much of my own marriage and all our idiosyncrasies. :)

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  22. Speaking of the bear costume... where has it been lately?!

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  23. Aww happy anniversary!! So sweet. It is impossible to never get mad but what is important is that it does not ruin the relationship!
    www.amemoryofus.blogspot.com

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  24. I love this. You guys are awesome.

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  25. Awwwwww! I love this!
    Happy anniversary!

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  26. Awww, this is awesome! You guys sound like a really fun couple. Thanks for the encouragement! And thanks for sharing this with Hump Day Happenings.

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  27. Happy 4 years since your engagement! I think you two complement each other quite well...and yes, how 'bout that bear costume? Is it going to China, or maybe you'll buy a panda costume once you're there? ;)

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  28. Sweet. This was a perfect post.
    Debbie
    www.fashionfairydust.blogspot.com

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  29. Lovely. It can be amazing how marriage can bring us to where we were always meant to be as a couple...fights and all :)

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  31. Great post! I'm just laughing at the fact that you two have only had two or three fights. My hubby & I will celebrate five years this November and we have had that many fights in a day, but then again when you throw in the kids that changes everything. Honestly though I could do it...marriage that is, with anyone else. Congratulations & Happy Anniversary! May God continue to grow your marriage with each year.

    ~Sherri
    godlifehappywife.blogspot.com

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  32. What a sweet picture of you two. This was a sweet post. Loved reading it...it gives me hope for the future. :)

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  33. beautiful pic you two are cute! from the SITS hop!

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  34. y'all are one of my favorite online couples -- you always seem so supportive of one another, and your writing/pictures convey a genuine happiness and friendship. good thing you broke your grandpa's rule :)

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  35. So, this post is really cute. That is all.

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  36. This is sweet. I love hearing the honesty in this post. :)

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  37. I love your honesty. My husband tries to tell me not to cry or be upset...it only makes it worse. I think he's finally starting to realize that.

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