The Random Writings of Rachel: January 2014

I Don't Believe In...


* I also don't believe in being cold. This is the day I wore leggings, jeans, a t-shirt, hooded sweater, vest, sweatshirt, 2 scarves, a hat, and Angel's winter coat to the beach because there was a strong wind and Angel wanted to see 5-foot waves on Lake Michigan (this last fall).

Here are a variety of habits and items I don't believe in:

1. A Cooked Meal more than Once a Day.
While I understand and applaud the benefits of home cooking...I think the appropriate amount of cooking is no more than one real home cooked meal per day. That's an amount I'm comfortable with. The rest of the time your hunger can be satisfied with oatmeal, a sandwich, a banana, an apple, a salad, leftovers...anything that doesn't require actual cooking.

2. Sweat pants.
Never mind that 65% of the girls at my college wore sweat pants on a daily basis, I had one pair of sweat pants that I only wore when actually in my PE classes because the teacher said we had to. And toward the end of the semester I discovered that she wasn't actually that strict and I broke the rules and started wearing jeans to class. If you haven't noticed, skinny jeans stretch, ya'll!

3. Homeowner's Associations.
I'm not even sure if that's the real term, but I've seen them in movies--the neighborhoods that force you to mow your lawn and not paint your house crazy colors and prevent you from doing other sorts of bad homeownerly practices. I don't even own a home, but if I did I know I wouldn't want to own a home with an excessive number of rules attached.

4. Child-Free Parties
Personally, I don't see the appeal. There are a lot of important children in my life right now, and I know there always will be. There were children at my wedding and the reception and there are children at every single party in my home. Any kind of get-together where children aren't welcome really isn't my thing, whether is be a sedate, fancy-schmancy expensive to-do....or a loud and dangerous frolic with illegal substances.

5.  Pointy-toed Shoes
My feet are long and narrow, which is probably why I'm not partial to a style that would only make them look longer and narrower. Plus, the shoes look rather dangerous.

6. Tent Camping
It's not fun. I'm still young ans and spry enough that I can sleep on the floor...but I have a strong, strong appreciation for real bathrooms and real walls and not freezing to death.

7. Coffee
I still don't see the attraction, folks. If I'm cold, hot chocolate, hot apple cider, or hot tea it is! But I'm not addicted to any of those. You know what drink is the best? Angel's strange and sundry fruit/ice/smoothie combinations he invents with our blender. I think he has about 5 different 'recipes' he makes on a regular basis, and they are way more exciting than coffee.

What don't you believe in?

My Old Kentucky Home





 At Sand Cave--I remember before the boardwalk and fence were built, you were actually allowed to walk up and go into the entrance of Sand Cave. You know you're old when you can remember a time before a new regulation is enforced....

So, you know, staying too long in the same place can be boring. En route between Michigan and Florida, my family stopped in Kentucky.

Kentucky plays an interesting role in my story--it was a relatively short but oh-so memorable portion of my life. When my family first moved to Kentucky, we lived in a motorhome. And yes, I said lived, not vacationed.

We were moving due to my dad's job, and the house we were supposed to stay in wasn't ready for us to live in until 9 weeks after he was supposed to start his new position. No problem, we're flexible people. We decided to to drive my grandparents' 1970s-era motorhome to a campground and live there for 9 weeks while we didn't have a house.

Let me paint you a picture: An ancient motorhome, a Jellystone campground in the midst of a Kentucky summer, and 5 children aged 9, 7, 5, 3, and 1, for 9 weeks. (I had my 10th birthday while living in the motorhome).

Ya'll, my family isn't scared of anything.

The workers at the campground had never met a family who intended to stay for the entire summer, but we became a fixture in their lives; present at nearly every children's activity that the campground hosted. Actually, we were asked to host game and face-painting activities on a few occasions when staffing was a little short. Us kids drove bargains with the managers and picked up trash around the grounds in exchange for free ice cream sundaes. I remember doing schoolwork, too, part of Mom's favorite method of keeping us all busy through long summer days when we couldn't go anywhere outside the campground.

My Mom made dinners for 7 on the tiny motorhome stove; we ate a lot of cereal, hot dogs, and hamburger helper that summer. On Sundays, we splurged and went out to O'Charleys, because they offered 2 free kids meals for every adult meal purchased. We did laundry at the laundromat and took showers in campground's shower hall. On weekends, when my dad wasn't working, we'd drive the motorhome to a different campground and explore a new city, just for a change in scenery.

It was only 9 weeks, but that's a 9 week chunk of my life I know I'll never forget!

So yeah, it was an adventure, but from what you've come to know of my family, it's not altogether surprising, is it? Personally, I think it was a great practice for all the adventures that have come our way since!

Disney: My Perfect Match

Gotta have a vlog every once in a blue moon, so I recorded the DisneyWorld story for you and am linking up with The Girl Behind the Blog!




As promised, a variety of random and sundry pictures of the park for you. We sure had fun--it was a dream vacation, not one I thought my family would ever have, and one I'll always be thankful for!












So there. My little rant on the wonders of Disney is over. Have you been? If you have, what was your favorite part?

Are Mermaids Real?

At Weeki Wachee Springs State Park, the answer is, surprisingly, YES!







As unlikely as it sounds, this is a real place.

Here's the story. We're in Florida, happily escaping from cold winter weather, and my mom says, "When I was 6 years old, my family came to Florida and went to this place that was called Weeki Wachee and they had a live mermaid show."

For the most part, our response was composed of skeptical sideways glances, but my mom kept insisting that this was a real memory, that she had not invented Weeki Wachee out of the depths of her imagination. Finally, I took to Google and managed to find the website. What do you know? She was right!

None of us were entirely convinced that Weeki Wachee Springs State Park was a real, active, operating park with daily shows until we were actually there. We saw no billboards or advertisements for it as we were driving toward the area, and the park itself looks rather shabby and abandoned.

However, we discovered that the park was entirely real, and delivers exactly what it promises: mermaid shows, a riverboat ride, and a reptile show. And in my whole life I've never seen anything quite like the mermaid show at Weeki Wachee.

The theater itself is submerged underwater, and the mermaids/talented divers perform in a natural spring, with fish and turtles swimming around them. This park has been in existence and these mermaid performances have been going on for over 60 years now. The performers breathe through air tubes that they carry with them--but besides that slight concession to the human need to breathe, their ability to swim, dive, lip-sync, and perform at a depth of more than 10 feet under water is quite impressive.

As someone who loves performance but doesn't even put her head underwater when swimming, I was definitely impressed by thought of having a career that involved performances carried out entirely underwater.

The riverboat ride was very fun, and local wildlife seem quite abundant: we saw manatee, blue herons, eagles, and countless fish and turtles. It appears that Weeki Wachee isn't the kind of place that someone who had never been in the area would even know exists unless you read this blog post, but I assure you, it's real. And I doubt there's anything like it in the rest of the world. The mermaids do make it into a couple clips in Kelly Clarkson's Stronger music video, so there's another one of their claims to fame.

Have you ever stumbled across a mermaid show?

p.s. Sarah whispered to Dad during the mermaid show that she was pretty sure that the mermaids weren't real because she noticed them breathing from the tubes. Although, later in the day, she came up with an explanation that maybe they were real mermaids, but wanted us to think that they were humans pretending to be mermaids, so they just used the air tubes to mask their real identity.

p.p.s. This goes so perfectly with Ech's Travel Tuesday theme of "Not So Famous Favorites" that I had to link up!

I Like Florida A Little Bit


So, I wore clothes. And they didn't involve 35 layers or a huge winter coat, either.

But the most exciting part of the story was that I went to Florida. And, judging by the pictures, I was practically jumping out of my skin with joy the whole time.





Maybe it was the fact that the last time I was in Florida I was 11 and my parents were in meetings the whole time so it wasn't actually vacation...maybe it was the fact that I secretly wanted a DisneyWorld honeymoon but wasn't able to swing it...maybe I enjoy hanging out with my family wherever they may be...or perhaps it was simply the fact that I was ecstatic about being able to be outside without feeling like I was going to freeze to death. Whatever the reason, I loved it. Highlights and funny stories from the trip shall be forthcoming, this post is just to say that it was good, very, very good. And I'm home in Michigan now, which, in spite of the snow, is a good thing, because I missed my Angel a little bit.

5 Alternatives to Shoveling Snow





First, a few reasons why snow shoveling is an activity that should be avoided at all costs:

1. It's Meaningless, Meaningless, All is Meaningless!
But seriously, when it's actively snowing, you could spend your life shoveling your driveway because by the time you've finished it's time to start shoveling again! Even if it's not snowing, a breeze could cause all of your neat piles of snow to drift and fill your driveway up again.

2. It's Dangerous.
Frostbite, Hypothermia, Risk of slipping on ice or slippery snow and breaking a bone or getting a concussion. You might accidentally lock yourself out of your house and freeze to death before you find a way back in. You could strain a muscle in your back and be laid up for days, which would lead to a complete exhaustion of all reasonably good shows on Netflix.

3. It's Not Very Fun.
At the moment, I can think of at least five things that are more fun that shoveling snow out of your driveway: Eating, Reading a Book, Shopping, Sewing, Dishwashing, and Cuddling.


Alternatives to Shoveling your Driveway:

1. Hire Someone to Plow Your Driveway Instead.
Very attractive, but this costs money.

2. Buy a car that can drive through snowbanks with the greatest of ease.
This probably costs even more money than option #1.

3. Move to somewhere where it never snows.
I'm 100% in support of this option.

4. Stay home until Spring.
I would almost be okay with this but it's probably not feasible for the majority of society.

5. Convince your pet Bear to do it for you.
I mean, after all, a bear's coat is very thick and well-designed to withstand freezing temperatures, don't you think? Make him earn his keep!

The Dishwashing War



Did you know that there's more than one way to wash dishes?

Betcha didn't. Many people do not. At least, that's what I've discovered. I grew up in a home where the kitchen had one kitchen sink and no hot water from the faucet. For that reason, it never seemed practical to fill up a sink with cold water and dish soap, place dishes in the sink full of water, wash them, stack them wet and soapy on the counter, empty out the sink, and rinse the dishes. Instead, I got into the the habit of keeping the water running slowly while I scrubbed dishes with a soapy washcloth, washing and rinsing at once, and stacking the clean dishes in the dish rack when I was done.

Since moving back to America, I've discovered that the preferred method of washing dishes--here in the land of double kitchen sinks and faucets spouting hot water, is to fill one sink with steaming, soapy water and wash the dishes in that sink, afterwards stacking them in the other sink, and running the water again to rinse the dishes.

That is okay with me. I do not mind the fact that many people use a different strategy of dish washing than I do. Where the dishwashing war begins is when I wash dishes at someone else's house. Because, guess what? People who wash dishes differently than I do highly disapprove of the way that I wash dishes. I find that odd. I mean, if someone ate dinner at my house, and washed the dishes afterwards, I think I'd say, "Thanks for washing dishes!" not "Apparently, you don't know how to wash dishes."

It's funny, the reactions I get. Some people tell me that the dishes don't get as clean the way I wash them--and I wonder how allowing dishes to sit in a sinkful of grimy water that gets progressively dirtier gets dishes cleaner than my method does. I've also been told that it's a wasteful way to wash dishes--that it wastes too much water, a valuable resource. Again, I beg to differ. If you've ever had to wash up after dinner for nine on a daily basis for years of your life, you'd be a speedy dish washer too. I've timed it by plugging the sink while allowing the faucet to run continuously while I wash the dishes, and I regularly finish all the dishes, both the washing and rinsing, before I get a full sink of water. Therefore, the method which first fills the sink with water and then runs the water again to rinse dishes actually uses more water than mine does.

But you know what? I have two sinks. If I have you over for dinner, and you want to help clean up afterwards, feel perfectly free to use the two-sink method if that's what you're used to. I don't mind. I'm happy and grateful that it's not me washing dishes!

In my view, there's two ways to end the dishwashing war. Either, the people who I wash dishes for could decide that they don't care how their dishes are cleaned, or I could adapt to their dishwashing culture while in their homes and use the two-sink method in order to not upset my hosts. Since I can only control my own actions and not those of others, it appears that I will accept this difference and I will be using the second strategy in future dishwashing ventures outside of my own kitchen.

This appears to be one of those random cultural differences that many people have decided are worth fighting for. To me, it appears to be on the level of which way is the toilet paper roll installed.

How do you wash dishes? One sink or two sinks or--what in the world?--do you have one of those newfangled dishwasher contraptions?

I Detest Wearing Glasses

This post is sponsored by GlassesUSA.com, all stories and opinions are my own.


Contrary to the how I usually appear in pictures, I wear glasses. I'm the only one out of all 7 of us kids who seems to require help to see. However, I am no lover of lenses.

I counted up how many pairs of prescription glasses I've had in my life: 5 normal pairs, plus one pair of prescription sunglasses. I got my first pair of glasses when I was 15, and promptly lost them. I didn't break them, I didn't try to lose them, I looked everywhere I could think of for them, but to this day I have no idea what happened. They disappeared into thin air. Which meant my mom had to buy glasses for me again about 2 months after buying my first pair. Not my brightest moment over the course of my growing up years.

I know some folks love eyeglasses frames to such extent that they wear them for fun. I am not one of those. I detest my glasses so much that I often don't wear them. I'm blessed in that I'm not completely blind--I can see my way around a room, so I usually only wear my glasses if I have to drive anywhere. However, driving is a big part of adult life, and therefore, so are my glasses. I am very grateful for the invention of glasses in general, I just find them to be an extraordinarily annoying accessory! My face rebels against being constrained by this frame of metal, plastic, and glass. And it is extraordinarily uncomfortable to try to fall asleep while wearing glasses.

To me, the only thing worse than having to wear glasses is having to spend hundreds upon hundreds of dollars on a new pair. That's where sites like GlassesUSA.com come in handy! Next time you think you're about ready to try a new glasses look, think twice before simply buying your frames from the eye doctor. If you already know what types of frames you like best (for me, half-rimmed frames are the way to go!) that makes picking out a new pair even easier! Plus, their website offers a Virtual Mirror feature that allows you to experiment with how a particular pair might look on your face before you buy new glasses.



Are you a lover of eyeglasses or not? I think I've made my feelings clear--but honestly, I appreciate the fact that I can see so much farther when I give in and wear my glasses!

A Bear Driving a Suburban


Just in case you were worried...we're in a parking lot, not on the road. We're not crazy. Still, it's somewhat frightening.

Wonder Woman Socks




Your eyes do not deceive you. Yes, those ARE Wonder Woman socks with attached capes. And yes, I am aware of what the snobby people on What Not to Wear would say about them. However, I don't care.

Because when I walked into a store that had Superman, Wonder Woman, and Robin socks with attached capes, I was so happy merely to know such socks existed. I'm not even a crazy sock type of girl. The vast majority of my socks are black ankle socks. I couldn't have predicted that I would love these crazy socks so much, but I look at my Wonder Woman-clothed calves and I feel like dancing, because these socks are genius.

Every once in a while, we run into that perfect article of clothing that one that seems made just for us! My green pants, green dress, red high heels, pink Converse; those are what do it for me.

Neither fashion trends nor practicality dictate my wardrobe. I buy clothes when just the very thought of them makes me smile--when I fall head over heels in love with them. I can't always predict what I'll fall in love with. There have to be a few practical considerations. I don't make a habit of walking into stores outside my budget because I don't want the heartbreak of falling in love with something I can't have. I often leave a store at least once after falling in love, to test myself and see if the relationship I have with that piece of clothing is true love or merely a passing fancy. I don't actually shop very often. Sometimes my choices may make my loved ones scratch their heads--but I have a wardrobe full of clothes that make smile, so I figure I'm doing something right!

Do you know what I'm talking about? Do you have at least one thing in your wardrobe that's guaranteed to make you smile--whether or not it's on-trend or appropriate for the current situation? If you don't, the question is why not?

My Rings


No, I don't wear them all on one finger, but they photograph easier that way.

I don't see myself as the biggest fan of jewelry. I do like my weird earrings, and I'll wear necklaces and bracelets occasionally, but I rarely ever buy myself any jewelry. It doesn't tempt me. I do like my rings, though. I don't have rings that I switch out and wear for special occasions, but I have 6 rings I wear every day, that I rarely, if ever take off. I'm not the kind of person who remembers to take off rings before cleaning and such activities, so I think it's a very good thing that most of my rings are made of sturdy stuff!

From the top of the stack on my finger to the bottom:

Stainless Steel Spinning  Ring: I bought this for myself for 9 RM ($3) and I've been wearing it since Summer 2009. It's a bit of a funny story. Angel's mom gave him a spinning ring as his college graduation gift. I thought it was so cool that when I went home for the summer, I bought myself one. We were just friends at the time, but Angel was the inspiration for this ring I've been wearing for over 4 years now.

Silver Angel & Rachel:  I won an Etsy giveaway on Carolynn's blog, and I immediately knew I wanted a skinny, name-stamped ring, so I bought this one.

Silver Hebrew: It says Rachel and Anna in Hebrew, a gift from Lizzy and in honor of Anna, who strongly suggested that I needed a ring with her name on it since I was already wearing a ring with Angel's name on it. (Anna and Angel have a long-standing argument over who is my real favorite.)

My Engagement Ring: Angel bought this one for me when we'd already been married 9 months. Sometimes good things come to those who wait.

Wedding Band: Angel's parents bought our wedding bands for us as wedding gifts.

Rose Gold Band: I always wear this with my engagement and wedding rings, but this is actually my 'class ring.' I loved the idea of a class ring, mostly because college was the only "real school" I ever went to...but in reality, class rings are kind of ugly, and this rose gold band was significantly cheaper than any of the class rings my school offered. My parents bought it for me as my college graduation gift. 

Do you wear jewelry more for the look of it or more because of emotional significance?

How To Be More Photogenic


Here I am, just randomly standing in a field, putting some of my best posing techniques as listed in my guest post on Susannah's blog to work. For my best strategies concerning actually liking the way you look in pictures...and some pretty bad photos of me where I wasn't following my own advice...you better head over to her blog to read more! (There's also a little giveaway for those who are partial to using fancy chopsticks to eat their food.)

What's your favorite posing strategy?

A Quoted Conversation

When my family is together, we occasionally have entire conversations made up of quotes from movies.

We also play board games.

There have been times when I'm watching a movie for the first time as an adult, and someone in the movie says something, and then suddenly I understand why my mom has been saying that random phrase my whole life.


I'll mention a few of the quotes that come up in daily life, and the situations in which we might use said quote.

1. When a child says or does something silly: "Logic! Why don't they teach logic at these schools?"

2. When we're out of a certain needed kitchen ingredient (typically not rum): "Why is the rum always gone?"

3. When a child is still doing something silly: "You're killing me, Smalls, you're killing me."

4. Randomly, for no particular reason: "You remind me of a man." "What man?" "The man with the power." "What power?" "The power of hoodoo." "Who do?" "You do!" "Do what?" "Remind me of a man.".....and on and on and on until the giggling becomes too much....

5. In case of a minor misunderstanding: "What we've got here is failure to communicate."

6. When we want to scare our baby sisters: "My precious..." 

7. When we want to initiate a sword fight: "Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid."

8. When we want to show how much we detest something: "I hate all the orphans in the whole world!" (Orphans is typically replaced with something like: cabbages, laundry, cockroaches, etc.)

9. Whenever anyone, anywhere, mentions the word "kicks" or how often they practice any skill: "I practice my kicks like, 6 or 7 times a year."

10. When we want to intimidate someone: "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die."

11. Telling someone else to hurry up: "What you are about to do, do quickly."

Okay, so there's a totally out-of-context Bible verse there, and at least one Youtube video, too. Actually, there are a lot of Youtube quotes in my house, mainly from "Kid Snippets" videos that I've never seen, so even I don't understand all cultural references that occur in this house.
 
What is your most-often used movie quote?
 
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Little-Known Uses for Bears


If you have a Bear around the house, sometimes you can ask them to help you out with little tasks. Start them out with something easy, like putting the mail in the mailbox for you. Bonus! Now you won't freeze to death running to the mailbox, and Bears never get cold, that furry coat keeps them nice and cozy.

"Real" Fashion a.k.a Happy Housework Fashion




There often seems to be a big concern among bloggers and those who read their blogs over what is "real" and what is "fake" in the blog world. Personally, I assure you that all of my outfits are very real. They are the clothes I happen to be wearing whenever I can convince my husband or siblings to take a photo of me. But perhaps this one is a little more "real" than average.

That is, if by "real" I were to mean the kind of outfit I might wear when Angel's gone for 14 hours and I spend the day at home emptying all the kitchen cupboards and cleaning them, washing the bathroom counters, doing laundry, sweeping the floors, and yes, scrubbing my kitchen sink with bleach.

I confirm that yes, I did scrub my kitchen sink with bleach while wearing this outfit. That's perhaps one of those actions that falls on the not-so-intelligent side of bravery, but its true. And hey, no bleach spots have appeared yet, so I must have some talent when it comes to scrubbing!

At the time of this picture-taking I wasn't wearing shoes because I'd been home all day and the skin on my hands was itching like crazy because apparently I can't be bothered to put on rubber gloves when working with cleaners.

Perhaps 'real' isn't the right term, because I'm convinced that all of the clothes I wear are not imaginary. At least I hope so. I don't want any "The Emperor's New Clothes" episodes around here. Let's just call this the "Happy Housework Outfit." I'm sure I have a "Grumpy Housework Outfit" too, but I had a couple little sisters helping me on this particular housework endeavor, so it was definitely a happy one.

Fun Fact: I also wore this mini-dress in my senior pictures. For proof, here's 16 year old Rachel:


I like that hairstyle, but man...they forced me to pose like that. Weird. Trust me, you've never been posed till you've been posed by a Malaysian studio photographer. I think everyone ought to have that experience once in their lives, it's completely unique. They scolded me constantly! I'm all for hands on one's hips...but I much prefer smiling.

What's your favorite way to accomplish a long list of household chores?

............................................................................................

P.S. I have a new marriage-related article up on the QUITE Magazine website, this one is: When Prince Charming Isn't Very Charming At All. Angel said that he thinks it's the best thing I've ever written, so if you have any respect for his opinion, I'd say you should read it.

5 Blog Posts I Love to Read


 Example of a true story that could be blogged: Once upon a time in high school I played a queen. It was basically a role designed perfectly for me. Except for the really awkward storyline about falling in love with a random guy--displaying affection really isn't my thing. But anyways...If I could figure out a reason to wear either that dress or that crown in real everyday life, I totally would.

1. Funny True Adventures. The reason I'm not a fiction writer is because I'm convinced that the funniest, craziest, most unexpected events happen in real life, not in fiction. So write your story about your encounter with an interesting stranger, or about the series of unfortunate events that occurred when you were innocently trying to get the mail out of the mailbox.

2. Blogging-related info. Maybe I'm just intrigued by the circular logic involved in blogging about blogging about blogging... But seriously, I'll click on just about any post with a blogging related title. Somehow, they interest me. Sure, way too many "Blogging Tips" posts say exactly the same thing so if you title your post "Blogging Tip You've Never Heard Before" and then you explain to me in the post that the secret to making millions of dollars as a blogger is to be extra nice to my cats and have a sleepover party with them, staying up until 1 o'clock in the morning, the hour when cats can suddenly talk and, if I ask, they'll tell me the secret password for unlocking the key to the internet.....that would be info both new and interesting.

3. Exciting Announcements. I like celebrating with people. I like finding out that others have bought a house, just got engaged, are having a baby, or finished grad school. I'm a curious person and I enjoy knowing the latest and greatest news in peoples' lives. Creatively exciting announcements are even more fun.

4. Jokes. Take an everyday activity and write about how it endangers your life (i.e. The reason I don't mop is because increased concussion rates occurring due to wet floors). Give a step-by-step guide on how to do something that other people probably shouldn't do in the first place (i.e. A Tutorial on Writing Fake Secret Admirer Letters). Spoof something that's popular (i.e. My Anti-Pinterest Entertainment Center).

5. Outfit Posts. No, not the high-and-mighty fashion blogger who has a seemingly endless wardrobe consisting of only the most boring of clothes. I like fashion posts that involve fancy dresses, crazy-patterned tights, interesting shoes, and fun stories about how the outfits came into being and what adventures occurred while the blogger was wearing said outfit. I do happen to be rather attached to my wardrobe, so I can relate to that attachment in others.

What kind of blog posts do you like to read the most? Do you have any suggestions for posts you'd like to read on this blog?

If You Kiss You Have to Marry



In the movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, there's a scene where the two little kids are peeking at their father and a lady he recently met. One kid asks the other one "Have they kissed yet?" and, upon getting an answer in the negative, says, "Okay, well let me know if they do, because if they kiss they have to marry!"

Now, that is not a direct quote. It's probably been 10 years since I've seen the movie. I'm sure someone here on the internet could provide me with the exact wording of the conversation, but that's the gist of it. The conclusion of the children was that if their father kissed his new lady friend, he would be required to marry her.

Somehow, after watching the movie as young children, that statement became a part of my family's vocabulary. I can't remember if my parents actually encouraged it as truth or not, but I distinctly remember from that point on, if characters in a movie ever kissed, we'd start chanting: "Oh no! They kissed, now they have to get married!!"

I'm sure our parents must have found us hilarious. If we ever saw married people (including our parents) kissing, we'd shout, "Good thing they're already married!"

We were such interesting children.

"If you kiss you have to marry."

That little phrase was drilled into me as a kid, first heard in the context of an exceptionally silly movie.

I didn't give it too much deep thought as I grew up. Sure, there was always someone in our family who would obnoxiously shout "If they kiss they have to marry" at the most tender moments in movies like Roman Holiday. Some of us eventually grew out of that method of dispelling the emotional tension of a traumatic goodbye scene, some of us didn't. (Hint: Don't watch over-the-top romantic movies with my little sisters. You will spend the whole time laughing at the running commentary.)

However, after leaving home, I kind of forgot about our family tradition/rule/theory/whatever-it-was. Or maybe not. Maybe I knew very well what I was doing when I recklessly kissed Angel on that Sunday in May 2009. Poor guy, he didn't know that he'd just kissed a girl under the "If you kiss you have to marry" spell. He never had a chance.

Angelisms, Part 6


 Probably the most perfect picture of these three brothers ever taken.

When we met, Angel's voicemail and text message ringtones were:
"Master, I have mail for you." and "Sexy, you've got mail." both in a seductive woman's voice.
Surprisingly, I still married him.

He likes using English very literally--he prefers to only take into account the literal truth of one sentence with no regard for the actual truth that a sentence implies. Hence, his "first white wife" line in his post about our anniversary and the fact that he purposely started a rumor that we hadn't kissed before we got married by writing on Facebook, "I can't wait to kiss Rachel for the first time on our wedding day!"--he claims that the meaning was that he was excited for whatever happened to the be the first kiss on our wedding day...he says he can't help it if other people make different assumptions about his use of the English language.

"Ewww, these almonds are covered in dark chocolate."

I ran outdoors to get the mail with no coat on and he locked me out of the house. (Yes, on purpose.) When I started yelling and banging on the door, he  rushed to the door, opened it, and said, "I saved you, Baby, I saved you!"

In response to the recent below 0 temperatures and harsh windchill and drifts of snow as high as my shoulder: "It's days like these that I want so much in the middle of August"

 Also, on the most horrible of bad weather days he tries to be inspirational: "Just above these clouds are bright blue sunny skies. Just because we can't see them doesn't mean they're not there." 

He tries to convince everyone--and I mean everyone, my baby sisters included, to watch two horrible scary movies: Tremors and The Grey. Ever heard of them? The first one is a silly kind of scary, but the second one is far beyond scary. Don't watch them.