The Random Writings of Rachel: Angelisms, Part 10

Angelisms, Part 10


{Scene: I walk out of the room, wearing my beautiful new birthday dress. Angel has an irrational dislike of long skirts...this dress has a long skirt.}

Angel: "I can see that you feel really pretty. Girls always like to wear things that make them feel pretty. But you have to know...just because you FEEL pretty in an outfit...doesn't mean you LOOK pretty in that outfit."

{He's always taken pride in being brave enough to say the things most husbands are wise enough not to say...he's free to do this because it doesn't hurt my feelings when he doesn't like my clothes.}

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{Scene: We just finished watching Inside Out. This will only make sense if you've seen the movie.}

Angel: {to 8 year old Sarah} "Well, It's a really good thing that Bing Bong died, right?"

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{Scene: It's 7 a.m.}

Rachel: You seem pretty happy this morning!
Angel: Yeah, I had Doritos for breakfast!
Rachel: Oh I see...
Angel: Doritos, and pop, and chocolate!
Rachel: Well no wonder you're so happy...

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{Scene: Today, apropos of nothing, we're just working on our computers in separate rooms. Angel posts a meme on my facebook wall that says:}

"Tranquila Rachel, comete un Snickers."

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{Scene: We were taking Sarah and one of her friends out to "AdventureZone", an indoor children's park, and I was telling them the rules for good behavior when Angel interrupted.}

Angel: "AND! Never....ever....ever...ever...touch...the cheetahs."
Sarah: "Umm, are there any cheetahs at the place we're going?"
Rachel: "No."
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{Scene: Sarah asked Mom what the fanciest date she'd ever been on was. Inspired, I turned to Angel and asked the same question of him.}

Rachel: "Hey, what would you say is the fanciest date we've ever been on?"
Angel: "...None."
Rachel: "???"
Angel: "We haven't had it yet!"

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{Scene: We're giving two of my sisters a ride. One of them was already pulling on the car handle when Angel unlocked the doors, so her door didn't open, and then he had to unlock her door again to let her in.}

Angel: "You know, one time Rachel and I got into a HUGE fight over that--she kept pulling on the door handle at the same time I was unlocking the door."
{I am looking over at him from the passenger seat in utter mystification. I have absolutely no memory of this "HUGE" fight ever occurring.}
Rachel: "Really? When? I don't remember that at all."
Angel: "Yes! You were so frustrated and got all mad and we got into a big argument about it."
Rachel: "I feel like I would have remembered something like this. That doesn't sound like me. Why would I get frustrated about unlocking the door?"
{The girls are giggling in the backseat over this marital confusion}
Angel: "...Oh. Wait. Never mind."
Rachel: "What?"
Angel: "Yeah...you're right. That wasn't you, that was...someone else..."
{The three of us girls burst into hysterical laughter and I felt vindicated because I couldn't understand why he was telling this crazy story about me getting mad over something silly when I couldn't remember any such event ever happening.}

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*You know, I always heard that eventually you're married long enough that memories get cloudy and you might someday tell a story thinking it's about you and your spouse when it's actually about you and an ex...I just didn't expect it to happen quite so soon...

Has that ever happened to you?

26 comments:

  1. It's funny that he said you haven't been on your fanciest date yet. :) Any idea where it will be?

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  2. Hahaha, these are some hilarious quotes! (I loved Inside Out, poor Bing Bong <3)

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  3. These posts always make me laugh :) He sure is brutal, yet amusing, with his dislike of your dress!

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  4. Haha, sounds like he certainly keeps life interesting!

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  5. Ahh breakfast of champions! And it sounds like you've got a fancy date in your future!

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  6. Husbands are so funny. I've been thinking about starting a Twitter series about the funny stuff my husband says. We took a hike yesterday and it was a constant stream of ridiculous comments. Some of it is so inappropriate though I don't know if I could have it out there and associated with my blog. Lol!

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  7. They say kids say the darnedest things but husbands are right up there with them lol. Great post! I could for sure write a post on the crazy things my husband says as well.

    Best Wishes,
    Allison Jones
    www.livelifewellblog.com

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  8. These are all so funny. I love when a couple can laugh and play together!

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  9. We have interesting moments like this as well! Hun is quite known for doing or saying something just to pull my leg or get me riled up because he thinks it's funny. Usually it doesn't go too far, but sometimes it does, just a bit, and then he inevitably does or says something sweet (or funny in a different way) and things are good again!

    We've been in public and others have commented on how nice it must be to joke and play around...and it sure is! :)

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  10. Life is never dull, is it? By the way, I think you look gorgeous in that dress!

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  11. Ha ha! These put a smile on my face. Thanks for that : )

    bisous
    Suzanne

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  12. Hehe I was giggling through this whole post! I might have to do one about my husband. He's got quite the sense of humor.

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  13. This is so funny and I love that you made it into a blog post! I just do twitter updates whenever my husband says funny/ridiculous things. Maybe one day i'll put them all together in a blog post. Thanks for sharing!

    -Chandler
    www.lifeasalarsen.com

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  14. LOL "Tranquila..." love that. We say that in my husband's family all the time...

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  15. Oh my! Doritos for breakfast?? LOL! Talk about nutritious! ha ha ha

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  16. this is hilarious and I love this! <3

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  17. Oh my goodness. These are golden! A actually laugher out loud at the car door one. Good thing I'm working from home.

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  18. Oh my goodness. These are golden! A actually laugher out loud at the car door one. Good thing I'm working from home.

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  19. Well, it sounds like you have a fancy date to look forward to in the future!

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  20. I'm ashamed to admit how often I have chips for breakfast.

    And I bet you looked very pretty in your long skirt :)

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  21. Hi Rachel,

    Dropping in from the Sunday Blog Hop. Thank you so much for sharing this post. I literally laughed out loud at every scene... This is so much like our marriage, it isn't funny. Well... it is!

    Thanks again for sharing, hope to see you again on the linky next week :)
    ~Jenn @BecauseImCheap

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  22. hahaha, these are awesome, but my favorite one might have to be the comment on Inside Out, if only because...why oh why would it be a good thing for Bing Bong to die?! ;_; I was so sad about that! (Oh Pixar...)

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  23. I cried when Bing Bong died.

    I'd die if I mixed up my husband with my ex...well, any of my exes! Bravo on handling that so well!

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