Questions I Get Asked

Here are some questions that people have asked Google. Google replied by directing them to my blog, so they must believe I have the necessary expertise to answer such queries. I'll try my best.

Question marks and capitalization added because I prefer to follow the conventions of the English language, but the questions themselves are taken directly from my Google Analytics:

"Are mermaids real say yes or no?"

At Weeki Wachee Springs State Park, yes. Everywhere else, probably not.

"Is wearing two necklaces tacky?"

No way. See this for proof. You can even wear three if you want. Or more. I'm pretty sure there's no rules about necklaces.

"What kind of noises do raccoons make?"

Scary noises. Especially if they are scratching on the foundation of your house at night and you're home alone.

"What do raspberries look like?"

...like tiny hollow strawberries. p.s. How does one describe what a raspberry looks like? Did I do a good job?

"What to wear on parents 25th anniversary?"

A unisex t-shirt with the number "25" on it, obviously. Because it will make your mom really happy that for once, her whole family matches.

"Why do bees have stripes?"

Probably....camouflage? I think that's practically always the answer for stripes on animals. Do I look like a science teacher? Are you one of my preschoolers?

"How much time do I need for family photos?"

Add extra minutes based on number of family members and level of naughtiness/orneriness.

"Are suspenders in style 2016?"

Yes. See this for proof.

"What to do on Leap Day?"

Well...we shouldn't talk about that anymore...it's gonna be another 4 years till the next one...

"Can you wear jeans to the gym?"

Yes. You can always wear jeans. I would wear them to the gym. But hey, jeans are pretty much universally useful. You can even wear them if you're taking a nap and have a kickball for a head.

"Why are thrift stores getting expensive?"

Probably because they are attached to the rest of the economic system and everything else is also getting progressively more expensive. Disappointing, right?

"Why are waffles better than pancakes?"

They aren't, pancakes are better because you don't have to figure out how to clean the waffle maker after you make them.

"Very mad in Spanish?"

bien enojada/o. Angel is the new Google translate.

"Are Chacos worth it?"

Do you like comfy shoes that will last for years? Do you want shoes that you can wear in mud and the ocean and other messy places? Then yes, they are definitely worth it.

"Is nursing school hard?"

I asked Angel the answer to this one, because I have never gone to nursing school, so I thought my answer would be inaccurate. He said, "No. It's just cumbersome....like washing dishes." There we have it, ladies and gentlemen. Nursing school *squiggly equal sign* washing dishes. Kind of makes sense because sometimes washing dishes makes me gag, and I'm sure nursing school would, too. I don't like learning about bodies.

"So can I have your number?"

No.

"Kodiak pancake mix where to buy?"

I always bought mine at Meijer. Maybe Target or Walmart?


"Should I go to beauty school?"

Only if you're as tough as nails. I barely made it. I had such a tough time in beauty school even my blog friends were happy for me when I graduated!
For more info, see: What Beauty School is Really Like, When Clients Make you Cry, A Rude Client, What Beauty School Taught Me.

"Why are homeschoolers so weird?"

Is your name Angel? Who else would ask such a question?

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And my favorite non-question searches:

interrational dating (hahaha interrational....is this a math thing?)

cute angel pictures (they probably didn't find the adorable cherubs they were expecting...)

i feel like a superhero (That's just awesome.)

pancake people (????)

stuff exploding (Also ????)

work locker pranks (I blame Angel)