Angelisms, Part 14

Angel's 'photoshop skillz' demonstrated in my 2009 family photo.

{Scene: Random family conversation about the benefits and challenges of marrying people who already have kids.}

Angel: "I would marry a woman who had kids."
Rachel: "Really? Because before you always said you would not marry someone who already had kids."
Angel: "Well, I would. If the kids were already grown up and out of the house."
Rachel: "Wait...how old is this woman we're talking about?"
Angel: "Hey, she's rich! Doesn't matter how old she is."

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{Scene: I'm trying to find a specific file on Angel's desktop. He literally saves everything in his computer on his desktop, the entire screen of his computer is a mass of completely unorganized files and programs. I've never seen anything like it on anyone else's computer.}

Rachel: "Yeah...you're going to have to find it because I have no idea even where to start looking here.."
Angel: "Are you saying my desktop is too messy?"
Rachel: "Yes."
Angel: "Rachel...if it weren't for you...my life right now would be just as messy as this desktop is today."
Rachel: "...That's the smoothest thing you've ever said to me."

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{Scene: Elevator}

*Angel pushes the wrong floor button but I don't notice because I'm chatting away happily. When the elevator stops at the wrong floor, he leads the way out, and I follow along still talking about some adventure from the day. We walk along the hallway for a while until we get to where our apartment should be...and it's not our apartment. The door grate is the wrong color. Because we're on the wrong floor. We walk up the stairs to get to our apartment rather than walking all the way back to the elevator.*

Rachel: "This doesn't make sense...by tricking me into getting off on the wrong floor and having to take the stairs up, you also had to get off on the wrong floor and take the stairs. What kind of prank is that?"
Angel: "The best."

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{Scene: Angel is on the phone making a reservation. I hear only his side of the conversation.}

Angel: "Actually, It's Mr. Angel."
...
Angel: "Oh, no problem, I've gotten that my whole life. It's totally okay."
...
After he got off the phone:
Rachel: "So what did they call you? Mr. Angle?"
Angel: "No...she called me...Miss Angel."
Rachel: "Even after hearing your voice on the phone?" *collapses in laughter*

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{Scene: Angel shared the sweetest photo of him and Sarah on Facebook, with the caption "I never had a little sister, but now I do." I told him that was so cute, and this was his response.}

Angel: "Yeah, I'm going to tell Sarah that I'm so happy to finally have a little sister after 32 years with no little sister at all!"
Rachel: "......Well technically she's already been your sister for six years, she was three when she met you...so I'm not sure 'finally' is the right word."
Angel: "Yes, finally. Because all of the years up until now were more of a 'courtship' or 'trial' phase, but now we've passed the trial phase and she's my real little sister."
Rachel: "...that's not how it works. Besides, you have five little sisters, not just Sarah."
Angel: "Nope, they're all bigger than me. Sarah's the only option."
Rachel: "Well they weren't all bigger than you 6 years ago."
Angel: "It's too late for them."

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Just for fun, I have to include a Rebekah-ism in this collection. Rebekah is a very distinctive character in the long list of characters that comprise my family.

{Scene: Sitting around the dinner table after dinner.}

Rebekah: "Do you ever just look at human fingers and think--I bet they would be really tasty!"
Rachel: ....
Rebekah: "No, really, I bet they'd be just like chicken wings! Delicious!"
Rachel: "I'm writing this on my blog."