SOCIAL MEDIA

13 September 2017

Things I Wouldn't Do as a Parent

I know, I know, everybody says you can't know what kind of things you'll do once you're a parent until it actually happens. But I feel like you can at least lay down a few general guidelines. These are the things I'm fairly positive I would not do.


- Cloth diaper. I actually might have done this if we lived in the states. I like saving money, and I cloth diapered babies back in the 90s when it was a totally different ball game. But. We live in an efficient apartment with a washing machine but no dryer and no outside area for hanging laundry. We hang all our laundry to dry from bars attached to the ceiling of the tiny hall next to our kitchen. Oh, and the humidity is about 85% at all times so clothes don't dry well, so I unplug my washing machine whenever it's not running and plug in a fan and point it at the clothing so they will actually dry. No way would I purposely add cloth diapers to the laundry load.

- Have a little boy with long curly hair. Curly hair might be a given with our genes (wonder why Angel keeps his hair so short?), but this cosmetologist gets itchy fingers whenever she sees a messy neckline or hair sticking out around the ears, even on strangers. I love clean-cut, nicely trimmed hairstyles for boys. I've already given plenty of baby and toddler haircuts, so I know what I'm getting into. I also wouldn't let my kid color their hair till probably teens or so.

- Not vaccinate. If we lived in the USA, I would still vaccinate, but over here, I think it's even more crucial. Diseases that are unheard of in the USA are not unheard of here--even as an adult, I have more vaccinations in order to live here than I would if I lived in my birth country. They practice slow vaccination for babies here, only one jab at each appointment, which I think is an even better idea.

- Co-sleep in the same bed with baby. The bed is hardly big enough for Angel and I, if one were to add a baby to the mix, Angel would have to be kicked out to the couch, which isn't actually long enough to sleep on, so none of this sounds like a good idea. I'm not much of a social sleeper, anyways. Baby can sleep in baby's own bed in our room. Said bed does not currently exist but hopefully will someday.

- Buy obnoxious and loud electronic toys. Other people can buy them for my kids if they so desire, but if I am spending any money on a toy, it's going to be one that I actually think is cool. BTW, I think basically all classic wooden toys are cool, and dollhouses.

Publicly post photos of baby with no clothes on. Considering that I already told Angel he couldn't post the ultrasound photo because the baby isn't dressed...let's just say I always think clothing is a good idea.

- Raise the baby monolingual. That just wouldn't make any sense. I'm not going to be uptight about it because I don't like rigid structures like "Mommy's language" and "Daddy's language" or "Spanish Wednesdays." English will be primary, but baby should grow up with it being part of everyday life to interact in another language as well. There's plenty of random Spanish and Chinese phrases spoken in our home already and Angel plays music in both languages in the car and at home. We'll just have to step it up a notch, and I plan to incorporate Spanish into storytime books and entertainment (songs, videos) so that the little one at least grows up comfortable with hearing the second language. And then in our homeschool we'll just do Spanish curriculum alongside English curriculum. If baby is a more verbal type, I'll incorporate Chinese early, too, if not, we'll stick to the basic two.

What wouldn't you do?

15 comments :

  1. These all sound like reasonable expectations to me! The one I always laugh at now was when I said I'd avoid using the word "potty" - my kid could learn the name of the "bathroom", right? Hahahaha! Yeah, that didn't last long. :-D

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  2. Fun list! I'd say I agree{d} with most of them, but the two that changed hugely after having a baby were cosleeping and not vaccinating. We ended up cosleeping for 8 months (but we have a bigger bed). Also always thought I'd vaccinate but our daughter was vaccine-injured and after more research, we've decided to stop for her first couple years (however, not sure what I'd do if I lived in another country).

    So happy for you with your pregnancy!! We lost our first baby to miscarriage too, so when I read your whole story I connected!

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  3. THese sound very realistic for you! I wouldn't not vaccinate either. I don't get what peoples deal is. Do you WANT your baby to potentially get whopping cough or not?

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  4. Yes to ALL of these... Minus the bilingual one. I wish we could raise our kids bilingual but we're not so (at this point) they're not. I'd totally go for them learning another language at a young age - and try to join them! <3

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  5. I completely agree with these! We decided to never cosleep, and we've held to that. I would never sleep if there was a baby or toddler in my bed, and I will never be convinced it's as safe as a crib.

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  6. Im with you on the photos with no clothes on. Theres a lovely person I follow on instagram who has three kids and always does insta stories with them naked. I cringe hard when I see it. They're really lovely but I just cant imagine my own kid being naked online - not everyone in the world has my values and there are creeps out there.

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  7. I think it's such a great opportunity when you can expose your children to more than one language. That's so great!

    My father in law said he and his wife used to buy all the loud, obnoxious toys for friends' baby showers...until they got pregnant. they didn't want the revenge gifts :D

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  8. I love that you have really thought about all of these things. I think that they make sense for you and I think that you can do them. And of course, if you decide to change your mind, that's totally okay too! I don't have kids yet but I am 100% sure I will vaccinate them and that I won't post pictures of them without clothes. I'm still on the fence on cloth diapering, but it will depend on our laundry situation wherever we are at the time! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Babies are a long way away for me but I love to read about how other women do it and what they think.

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  9. I think it's so neat that you are laying out guidelines specific to your situation (ie: not cloth diapering because your laundry situation is a hassle) instead of automatically saying you'll do or avoid certain things because that's what the trends are. And I think it's really awesome that they do slow vaccinations over there! We take our little guy to a naturopathic pediatrician and she has an office rule of no more than 2 shots per visit. It's so much better than the usual regime here in the U.S.A. where they'll give tons of shots on some visits!

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  10. I thought I'd never co sleep either but here we are still doing it! By the way cosleeping is any arrangement where the baby is in your room, so if their bed is in your room that is cosleeping. Bedsharing is where the baby is in your bed. So what you described is actually cosleeping... We don't vaccinate, I'm pro life so the aborted fetus cells and heavy metals made up my mind for me. Also they sometimes don't work and some have very little success rates... Not worth the risk to me. Also poor Reuben was allergic to disposal diapers so we had to cloth! Every mom gets to make these choices and I know every baby is different. We are going to try to not bedshare with this new baby, but whatever gets me the most sleep is what I will do. I don't have family around to hold my baby while I sleep so I must do what I can.

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  11. here I am nodding my head to every single one. Vaccines are SO important. And so is raising a child to be fluent in multiple languages! Both of these things are crucial to setting our children up for success in their world-- and you can bet I'll be doing these right alongside with you! xX

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  12. My kiddos are adults and you are following my book.

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  13. Haha. I planned to use cloth diapers with my first baby. I had a ton of them and it was going to save us so much money. My son was born and that cloth diaper thing was over within a couple of days. Bring on the Huggies! I never tried it again - and we live in the US. It looks like you have a great list of guidelines . . . but you should know that grandparents love to buy those loud obnoxious toys. :)

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  14. I'm with you on cloth diapers and co-sleeping! As much as I'd love to save money when we get to that point of having kids, I can't imagine having to hand wash all of those used diapers in enough time. Babies - especially newborns - go to the bathroom often, so I definitely couldn't do it, hahaha! Great post!

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  15. I think you've got a good list going! I honestly don't think I went into parenting with any ideas of what I was or wasn't going to do, I just sort of figured out what I would and wouldn't do as I went along!

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