28 January 2018

Google Search Analysis - The Random Writings Style

I'm pretty sure that somewhere out there in the internet, there exists good advice on how to improve your blog's SEO and boost traffic by analyzing the search terms that are leading to your blog and optimizing your writing to better benefit from those internet searches.

This is not one of those posts offering good advice. This is something entirely different. Here, I will provide you with real search terms that have landed people on my blog recently, along with my analysis of why I think people were searching this term, and what I believe they found when they arrived on my website.

kissing nurses

Okay, we're starting on an unfortunate note because I can imagine no reasonable explanation for why someone would Google this. However! I do know exactly what this search would lead to on my blog: a practically ancient post from 2013 about a class t-shirt belonging to Angel that I stole early on in our relationship. It should be noted that I only support kissing nurses that you're actually married to and not those that you have a professional relationship with. P.S. How come nursing majors get special class t-shirts and Mandarin Chinese majors don't?

McDonald's 2 for 2.50 menu

Is this a real thing? Is 2 for 2.50 a good deal at McDonald's these days? I wouldn't know, and I doubt that anyone landing on my blog would find out, because the only time I've ever written about McDonald's was to talk about how I boycott the place.

turquoise suspenders

I can completely understand why someone would want to search for turquoise suspenders because those sound AWESOME. However, I don't own turquoise suspenders, although I do enjoy wearing suspenders occasionally.

disadvantages of marrying a younger woman

You know how you never really can tell which blog posts are going to be more popular than others? This mostly-not-serious post about the advantages and disadvantages of being married to a younger woman, written by Angel (of all people!!), has the all-time record for pageviews on this blog, and I regularly find search queries like the one above in my list. Who knew that many people were searching about the inherent benefits and problems in an age-gap marriage?

i hate thrift stores

I'm sorry? That's not really an opinion that I share. Actually, one of my favorite "dates" with Angel back when we lived in the US was to go wander around some type of second-hand store, whether it be a thrift store or estate sale store or antique store. The sorts of items you stumble across in those shops are way more interesting that the same-old, same-old that you'll find in the mall! HOWEVER. It is true that most of my thrift store shopping is more for entertainment than for actual purchasing of stuff.  I don't like buying a lot of stuff, whether first- or second-hand. This search term led me to a rather funny story of the time I bought an overpriced mini-skirt at a thrift store.

10 disadvantages of marriage

This search term leads to the same post Angel wrote about marrying a younger woman. I've never actually written a list like this, but if I did, it would probably look something like:

1. Not getting to sleep all alone.
2. Having to let someone else take out the trash most of the time.
3. Having too many funny stories to tell about the weird stuff your husband does, not knowing which one to choose.
4. Someone buying you a slushie and a pack of sour skittles at 7/11 when you didn't even ask.
5. Having to sit next to someone at the movie theater.
6. Needing to take a cute anniversary photo every year.
7. Sharing things, like dinner-making duties, instead of getting to keep them all to yourself.
8. Never getting to take a selfie since your personal photographer lives with you.
9. Paying for two dentist appointments every six months instead of just one.
10. Not getting the upper-body workout that shoveling your driveway involves because it's already shoveled.

Maybe I'm not really the ideal author for this kind of list...

But on a related note:

alternatives to shoveling snow

I do have an entire blog post dedicated to this topic. Having since moved to a location where shoveling snow is never an issue, I highly recommend that strategy.

crazy cat man

You've come to the right place. I'm married to him. He was very, very happy to spend time with Morphine (the more colorful cat in the photo below) this past summer and loves getting any updates from the family that Morphine now lives with.

i hate cardigans.


things people say to their hairdressers

Okay, even if you weren't the actual person who has searched this term before, I HIGHLY recommend reading this blog post. I have been honest about the fact that I did not particularly enjoy the process of getting my cosmetology license, but the clients and the work involved in cutting hair has always been my favorite part.

Have you taken a peek at your blog's search terms recently? Never know what you might find...
Suzanne said...

I haven't looked at my searches but now maybe I should. It'd be good for a laugh.


Unknown said...

I don't do this that often to be honest but I'm often surprised by the searches that land people on my blog.

Shooting Stars Mag said...

These are too funny! I've never really looked at what search terms are sending people my way...I should! I'm sure it's mostly amusing. :)


The Peculiar Treasure said...

This is hilarious and I love that you used this as a post topic! I really need to go check mine out too!

Michelle said...

These are great! For the past 6 years, people have been googling a reality star’s engagement ring and it brings them to my blog. I get the most traffic from that and I have no idea why!

Jenna | The Urben Life said...

I really want to figure mine out now!

La Shell said...

Those are more like my 10 advantages of being married. HAHA

AnneMarie said...

Haha! These are so funny :)

Rachel ¦¦ A Nesting Nomad said...

I don't even know how to tell what my recent search terms are! Clearly I am not a pro blogger. I'm also a little bit scared to, after reading yours! But I love that you're now an internet authority on marriage. Now there's an achievement.

Erica @ Whimsical September said...

The entire concept of this post cracks my up!! Oh my gosh! Apparently if someone searches "my sister in the shower" (ew ew ew!!!!!!!) my post is on the first page of google that links to a post called "My Sister's Baby Shower". WHAT THE HECK!!!! Isn't that bizarre?!

TCB said...

That's hilarious - especially the McDonald's one! LOL I so agree. I get totally weird landings too.

Jenny Evans said...

I love Google Analytics. I'm sure bloggers can use it to tweak their SEO and maximize their traffic, but I mostly enjoy it for the entertainment value.

Dr. K. Lee Banks said...

Oh, this is a fun post! I have seen some search terms that make sense, but likewise have seen some odd ones that just don't seem to have ANY logical connection to my blogs! Now I want to go back and check again, since I haven't for awhile.

Farrah said...

hahaha, these are hilarious! :D Such a fun idea for a post! I need to find out what search terms people are using for mine! For a while, people were apparently wondering if I was pregnant???

Brita Long said...

I actually am good at SEO, so I routinely look at the search terms that get to my blog, and some of them are weird. I've figured out why my blog post on colonoscopy prep is my all-time most popular! There are so many long-tail keywords about colonoscopy prep that lead to my blog. Of course, even the weirdest of those are still basically my target keywords...

Oh, and you have mentioned McDonald's at least twice in regards to Valentine's Day! Because I read your latest post on Valentine's Day, and I know you had shared that story before.

rooth said...

If they searched crazy cat man, I hope they were pleasantly surprised with that picture as a result