13 January 2019

Heresy, Maybe

Like many families nowadays, mine has a group chat.

It's used for sharing important info from one side of the globe to the other, asking questions for updates on family situations, and occasionally devolves into an endless slew of random stickers. At that point I ignore the chat for a few days until sanity has reigned once more. I'm not millennial enough to understand the texting of stickers and emoticons.

I'm here to share with you a shortened version of a recent chat, which all started because my parents asked to see a photo of the new Bible my brother was given as a graduation gift. Many of us in the chat have been given nicknames. I'm Kid 1, my brother is "Holy One" as a reference to the leg injury he sustained during a car crash in the fall. He had a giant hole in his leg, hence, Holy One. I have a variety of sisters, but the only one who shows up in this chat is nicknamed "Sleepy."

Okay, now that we have some context, let's begin:

Holy One:

Kid 1: I like big Bibles and I cannot lie!

Mom/Dad: WhiteBoy DJ? Bibles on CD??

Holy One:


Mom/Dad: My Bible is bigger!

Kid 1: Is this a Bible competition?

Mom/Dad: Yes

And I have more.

Kid 1: 

(Blurry, but hand is for size reference)

Mom/Dad: Well, Mom had her Dake's since before you all were born!

Kid 1: I'm reading a book on spiritual disciplines right now, and sending photos of your really big Bibles to your family is definitely a spiritual discipline.

Mom/Dad: What??? You're kidding me.

Kid 1: 

Kid 1: The more Bibles, the closer to heaven, because you can stand on top of the stack.

Mom/Dad: That's what I believe.

Sleepy: I love my family so much!!!


Disclaimer: The Random Writings blog, website, and the author thereof do not endorse in any way the questionable theology contained in this chat. It is shared only for the purposes of shared laughter. 
Kay R. said...

This was hilarious. Sleepy chiming in at the end is gold! haha

Callie said...


AnneMarie said...

hahaha! that's too funny

Nikki said...

Oh my goodness this is too funny!

Rachel @ Never Enough Novels said...

Ha this is amazing! I wish my family would start a group chat. It'd probably just be my mom and I though since my Dad seems to only check his phone once a month and my brother is too cool for us all : )

Brita Long said...

Your family is adorable.